Save the Planet: One Towel at a Time

Notes of Concern….

Jackson Blair


SAVE THE PLANET ONE TOWEL AT A TIME

Over the past year I have stayed at a number of hotels.

Some of these hotels have been in this country. Others have been in foreign countries.

These hotels charge anywhere from $250 to $400 for one night.
This is, of course, highway robbery. Imagine if you tried to get a couple of hundred bucks from someone for sleeping in one of the bedrooms in your home.

There really isn’t any way to avoid the “nasties” of travel these days. I have a lot of gripes about travel but the one I want to feature today is: towels.

At my house, we get clean towels once each week.
I think that is pretty reasonable.
And as I pointed out earlier, the wife does not charge me to use the room.

At the hotels I visit, you are greeted with a sign in the bathroom that says, essentially, “if you are a complete “rube” we are really going to make some cash off of you.” Of course, this is translated in a much more genteel way.

The hotel owners tell you that they are bending over backwards to try to save on water bills. Then they tell you they are definitely supporting “green” programs everywhere they have hotels. And then, subtly of course, they suggest that if you would just not expect a new and clean towel each day, it would save ever so much of the planet and your children and grandchildren would be relieved of the horrendous burden you would place on them otherwise. As you read, guilt sets in throughout your body.

Of course at a couple of hundred “bucks” per night, which gets you a bed to sleep in that is probably bigger than the one you have at home, but not nearly as comfortable, a bathroom that has slippery tile and marble all over the place, and a lighted shaving mirror, you thought it might be a real treat to have a new towel, fresh and clean, each and every day. You thought just a little treat would be OK especially considering the “green” stuff you have in your wallet that they are not trying to help you save.

But they have to ruin it.

You read further. If you are the kind gentleman that usually frequents their establishment you will simply hang your towel back on the rack and that will be a secret code that tells the maid she doesn’t have to remove it, clean it, or replace it in the morning.

In other words, less work for the hotel employee. Dirty towel for you, the guest. No discount on room however.

If you are the miserable human being they hope you are not, you should just pitch your towel in the bathtub and that will tell the maid you are a miserly, out-of-touch, ingrate who is out to ruin the world for her children and grandchildren. Implied in this is the very real possibility the maid might short sheet your bed, put germ- laden sheets on the bed, or not clean your toilet.

The possibilities are endless.

You wonder if the hotel simply said they would knock off $10 per night on the room charge if you helped them save labor costs they wouldn’t be more successful. You also wonder if they suggested you just leave an extra $10 for the maid, that wouldn’t also accomplish their goals. Your foolishly wonder if the hotel profit goes up or down as a result of the “green” and “water saving” program. Now there is a tough one!

You do the math. Eight hundred rooms, a couple of towels per room, no need to wash and dry them, savings in the millions!

So you bite the bullet. You hang the towel back on the rack. You dress and you head for the lobby feeling pretty good about yourself. You are part of the good guy club now!

Then you see the huge waterfall the hotel has placed in the lobby, the one that starts on the 4th floor and cascades down to the entrance of the building. You look around to see if you are in the wrong building. This cannot be the building owned by the people who are saving the world by conserving water.

You come across a wide expanse of lawn outside the hotel. Sprinklers that are timed to water the grass every sixty minutes are magically watering it while you watch. You have the urge to run out with cupped hands and try to save some of the water, while shouting “turn it off, turn it off!”

Beyond the well-watered lawn you see the valet-parking stand.

There is a nice sign there, it tells you they can wash and wax your car while you are a guest at the hotel. You notice over by the automatic washing tunnel there are eight guys, all with two or three towels in their arms, drying the cars as they come out of the wash and then throwing the wet towels into a washing machine so they can be cleaned and used again immediately.

Aha, clean towels for car washing, dirty towels for guest bathing. With this kind of a mission statement, this hotel company stock should skyrocket. Right!

You sit down in the lobby. You order a double scotch “neat.”

Then you get up and walk directly to the elevator. You arrive on your floor of the hotel and you key in to your room. You go in the bathroom and you grab every towel you can find and you throw them all in the tub, thus signaling in “maid code” that they are all to be replaced with nice, new, soft, sweet smelling fresh ones.

You walk back out of your room and march down the hall with a victorious feeling.

But, you still wonder what the maid is going to do about cleaning your toilet now.