DARKNESS WITHIN-Remembering Etan Patz

Notes of Concern…

                               …Jackson Blair

DARKNESS WITHIN

                                               Remembering Etan Patz

I took a position in New York City in the mid 1970’s. Life in that metropolis was not easy to master for a young man from the Midwest.

Within three years, the disappearance of six year old Etan Patz was all over the newspapers, billboards and television. It was a horrific story.

Perhaps because I moved east with three young sons the Patz story had even more meaning for me. Every parent knows how eager a young boy is to “grow up.” In fact, we often encourage our youngsters to “grow up” when we are teaching them things.

In the 1970’s it would not have been at all uncommon for young Etan to think that walking by himself from his apartment to the nearby bus stop would be a “grown up” thing. It would also not have been uncommon for a young mother to grant such a request. After all, what could happen in broad daylight on the busy sidewalk during a very short walk to the bus stop. 

Etan must have been so excited. Reports indicate he took a dollar bill in his pocket so he could buy a soda.

Then fate intervened.

Etan met a teenager worker in a local bodega, someone he had seen before and who was familiar to him. Sodas are available from bodegas so it would not have been difficult to lure Etan to the store. As for the teenager, he had no knowledge that Etan would walk to the bus for the very first time that day. The two boys had a chance encounter. We will never know what motivated the teenager, although a soda pop was clearly on Etan’s mind. I am sure he felt safe. He would not have found it strange to be talked to by the teenager. The teenager recognized an opportunity and he jumped at it.

If current reports are correct Etan died within minutes. He was stuffed into a bag, carried down an alley and deposited in a dumpster. Shortly thereafter the city workers came and took the trash to the landfill.

Between then and now every parent has had to deal with the harsh realities of life; there are predators everywhere. The predators whether mentally ill, high on drugs, or just plain mean are capable of the most horrendous acts.

My family lived in a very safe and secure community on the eastern shore of Connecticut. In all our time living there I recall nothing even close to the Etan Patz situation.

Nevertheless, my wife walked our children to the bus every single day. Many mothers probably changed their child rearing approach after learning about Etan Patz. It was the right thing to do.

But Stanley and Julie Patz had no warning.

Fate descended on them and changed their lives forever.

They probably had a great deal of counseling. Their friends and family must have surrounded them with love. In their heart of hearts they must have assumed Etan had died. But as long as his body was not found and no one was arrested and convicted there was always the chance, albeit a small one, that he would one day return home.

So they never moved in three decades. They never changed their telephone number. They never changed the message on their answering machine. If Etan remembered and tried to come back they wanted to be right where he knew they should be.

So when the newspapers showed pictures of a hoard of photographers descending on Stanley Patz last week as he tried to enter his apartment building on the day someone was charged with Etan’s murder it was in my view the height of insensitivity.

Stan Patz, returning home to his wife Julie, to confront the reality, the final reality, that Etan was never coming home. An answer they waited over three decades to receive. An answer they did not ever want.

As the parent of four children and with seven grandchildren I can only imagine the life the Patz family has lived, and will now relive,  as charges are filed, witnesses are questioned, court is held, and sentence is delivered.

The promise that was Etan Patz was never realized as his life was cut so short.

The life that Stan and Julie dreamed was shattered three decades ago.

The parents of children all over the world were alerted to the dangers faced by children and held their own offspring more tightly.

May God bring whatever peace there can be to Stanley and Julie Patz and may every parent learn to be prudent and pragmatic and watchful every minute of every day during which they are entrusted with the care of young lives.

For further information:  jacksonblair@gmail.com

THE DEMONIZATION BEGINS

Notes of Concern…

                               …Jackson Blair

The Demonization Begins

Why do you suppose we need to demonize people we do not like or support? I think it happens on a daily basis but it seems more obvious in four-year cycles.

Everytime we get down to two people running for President representing two political parties the knives come out.

The strongest and most stalwart supporters evidently think the only way to change someone’s preference for the other candidate is to make the candidate look devious, criminal or foolish and, by implication, make you look that way too because of your support.

Mitt Romney a gazillion years ago put his beloved dog on top of his stationwagon in which his five sons and wife were riding!

Cannot be president.

Barack Obama tried cocaine as a student it is reported.

Cannot be president.

As a teen Mitt bullied a kid on the playground.

Nope, no White House for him.

Obama made up his NYC girlfriend, a composite of many girls.

Get him out!

The list is as endless as it is foolish.

We are fortunate to have two seemingly nice men running to lead our nation for the next four years. They are attractive, pleasant and have lovely children. Both enjoy a life partner who is also attractive, conversational and intelligent.

Both have excellent educations from first-rate universities.

Both have held high political office before. They have faced voters. They have experience in the rarified atmosphere of the political arena.

Also, they both have records from serving in public office or in other jobs. Neither comes to the campaign without the baggage of a past or the hope of a future.

Between now and November we will get to see the two of them spar over a wide variety of issues. Everyone needs to move from his or her hard and fast positions and listen. Listen to what these fellows have to say, the way they say it, and try to gauge their commitment to what they are saying.

The formula for success in picking the next president is really quite simple. Here are the steps:

1.   Listen and watch each candidate with your mind open.

2.    Determine if Barack Obama has demonstrated in his

          first term the abilities you think are required to

          lead the country in the next four years.

3.   Determine if Mitt Romney has demonstrated in his career the abilities you think are required to lead the country in the

next four years.

4.   If the answer to #2 AND #3 above is YES then just pick the

fellow you LIKE the best.

     5. If the answers to #2 and #3 above are different, then your        

         choice is made!

Some years ago a book was published titled They Also Ran. The premise of this book was that the political parties had regularly nominated pretty good candidates and that the loser, had he been the winner, would most likely have done just fine. That is the best a democracy can hope for.

No matter what you read, or what you are told, it is important that you participate in this election by being an informed citizen and casting your vote not for the man your party tells you to vote for but for the man you personally believe will do the best job.

Let the vetting begin.

CELEBRATE vs TOLERATE

Notes of Concern…

                               …Jackson Blair

CELEBRATE vs TOLERATE

Moving out of the realm of any political consideration lets look at this issue of Gay Marriage in its purest sense. The President has recently brought the issue again to the front of public discourse.

Accept that we all have history on this issue:

Our prejudices are products of our upbringing.

Our prejudices are products of our religious training.

Our prejudices are products of our individual life experiences.

We don’t question our prejudices or test them.

We should.

Can there be a man or woman who really believes that two committed adults in a relationship should not have the same legal rights bestowed on two heterosexual adults in a committed relationship?

Please reread the preceding paragraph!

It does not mention moral judgments.

It does not concern sexual preferences.

It does not involve any consideration whatsoever of religion.

It does not remove from anyone the right to their own opinion about the religious, moral or political acceptance of any such same sex unions.

It simply states that human beings in any committed relationship should have the same benefits under the laws of the nation as every other citizen.

For those citizens who have a religious or moral opposition to the lifestyle of gays I would say:

We are not required to celebrate what we tolerate.

For those citizens who are gay and find it difficult to be dealing with what they see as bigotry I would say:

Remember that there is no problem that gentle people cannot solve together.

The laws of the land were never meant to apply only to those whose personal feelings are similar to those individuals who currently constitute a majority. We found this to be inherently true in the matter of blacks during their long struggle for equal treatment.

My view is that it is our understanding of the word “marriage” as a religious concept that has undermined our ability to see the idea as having a broader definition. Take the word “marriage” out of the discussion and people seem more comfortable understanding and accepting the intellectual argument for equality under the law.

So perhaps we should leave the word “marriage” firmly in the context in which religion and society, currently and historically, have used it and honor those who have strong feelings about the sanctity of marriage as a historical fact and as a religious rite.

At the same time could not those who wish to obtain legal benefits for citizens who choose to partner outside the church settle on a word that would have meaning for them?  Some effort was made in coining the idea of a “Civil Union.”  Perhaps there is a better word or phrase acceptable to those couples who wish to live outside the church but be recognized by law.

Is it really necessary to try to force a religion to accept practices wholly abhorrent to the religious?

Is it necessary for the religious to refuse to grant civil rights to people who are not of their religious persuasion?

 We should not seek to argue over or complicate something as important as commitment, companionship, physical intimacy, and rearing of children.

No one mandates that we all celebrate our differences.

Everyone, however, should learn to tolerate differences.

The government is asking that we keep religion out of it. We are encouraged to look at the building blocks of equality, the chance to have health insurance with a partner, the opportunity to be present and make health decisions at the time of the death of a partner, the right to be entombed with a partner, the right to be the beneficiary of a partner’s life insurance, and in the end, simply the chance to live equally under the law of the land with everyone else.

The time has come in our country for us to accept that in our differences we find our greatest strength.

In our capacity for empathy we find our finest virtue.

In our willingness to want equality under the laws of the land in which we all live we might well find our most lasting contribution to the future, one that will be hailed by historians.

We are not a petty people.

The joining of two people under any terminology in the civil sphere deserves the same treatment legally across the board.

Remember who you are.

Remember who we are.

And know we are better than this.