Notes of Concern….
……Jackson Blair
Vienna and Christmas 2009
My wife and I planned to spend the Christmas holiday this year in Vienna, Austria. We made our plans months in advance and were to be met there by another couple of our friends.
We were to leave home on Sunday and drive to Logan Airport to catch a flight to Washington, DC. We planned to spend the night at a hotel at Dulles Airport and catch a flight on Monday to Vienna.
On Saturday night we found ourselves listening to weather reports that were not at all encouraging. A nor’easter was heading our way. Announcer after announcer said driving would become hazardous, if not impossible, after midnight. I interpreted that to mean that driving to Boston the next morning from north central Massachusetts would be a nightmare.
So with a brief sixty-minute warning to the wife, and a quick call to the driver who planned to take us to the airport the following morning, we were instead en route on Saturday night. Even the driver was pleased at the thought that he did not need to fight the predicted weather disaster the next morning but could drop us off at an airport hotel and be back in his own home before the snow would begin to fall.
Well, the last part was a safe bet. I was in a hotel at $169 that I hadn’t planned on needing, my driver was indeed home safe in his bed, and whatever snow was predicted for north central Massachusetts failed to arrive at all. I should have seen this as an omen!
Undaunted, I decided not to let this ruin our trip. So we ordered up some room service (burgers and fries!) and watched a movie we had wanted to see when it was playing in area theaters, Julie and Julia. It was great fun and the hotel only charged me $15 for the privilege of watching it.
I must admit we had a room facing the city of Boston. We looked out over the river where the city was proclaimed to be on the other side. Out our window what we saw were dark clouds, wind whipping trees, and the bare outline of a city. For this fabulous view the hotel clipped us another $20 above the normal room rate. At least if we had been looking out the other side (the cheaper side) we could have watched the skies over the airport where all flights had been canceled. Now that would have been a view worth $20.
Snow did come in Boston but nothing even close to the hysterical predictions I heard on television. In fact, I was so suspicious I went back in the newspaper to try to see if Hyatt was the sponsor of the weather report. They certainly benefited from it.
The next day dawned and as we had expected almost all morning flights had been canceled. Aha. We had a 6PM flight that was the first flight to Washington’s Dulles airport that had NOT been canceled.
A conundrum presented itself. Hyatt wanted me to vacate my room with the fabulous view at noon. That would leave me six hours to kill before flight time. I knew that Boston's Logan Airport was jam packed with thousands of stranded passengers, many of who had slept on the floor, and none of who were happy.
The plan: avoid spending six hours with an angry crowd. The problem: how to convince Hyatt that a late check out gesture would be a nice thing, in the Christmas spirit and all!
Right.
They generously suggested it would be extraordinarily gracious of them to permit me to stay in my room with the view until 1PM. After 1PM I could stay as long as I wanted for the generous fee of $25 per hour (I didn’t even mention the view for fear the price would escalate as you could actually make out a few buildings by that time in the morning).
I calmly suggested that wasn’t a very gracious response. In an effort at more graciousness they edged check out up to 2PM. Feeling particularly successful at negotiating I sweet-talked them to a 3PM check out and promised I would close the drapes and not enjoy the view. They might as well have screamed “checkmate” when they smiled and said chwck out one minute after three would result in a full additional charge of $169 (plus taxes of course).
Who knew there would be such a demand on the rooms at the Hyatt in the middle of the afternoon? Perhaps they had a “day rate” about which I did not know. You know, for those short meetings that sometimes occur midday in hotels around the world.
So at precisely 2:59PM my wife and I dragged all our baggage to the lobby and plopped down in two comfortable chairs, facing the reception desk, as I fully planned to stare at the clerk for another complete hour. At 4PM, my eyes were watering from all the staring; we took the shuttle from the hotel to the airport.
What a surprise! No charge for the shuttle. The Christmas spirit had grabbed the Hyatt staff. Things were looking up.
We entered Logan airport and went to the check-in desk for Jet Blue. We had our reservations for two months and I had called to confirm two days earlier. Airlines like you to call and confirm because they may have forgotten you were flying with them even though they had your money, earning interest, for sixty days. They also like you to call because it helps tie up their lines so they can appear to be a very popular carrier. They know every time someone tells a story at a cocktail party about how long they held online for an operator at Jet Blue all the other guests make a mental note to purchase their next ticket on that classy carrier.
After joining in what could best be called a “cattle call” line that stretched back and forth three times in the airport lobby, my wife and I made our way to an agent. This agent was not cheery. She had been beaten and assaulted verbally for well over twelve hours by stranded passengers and she didn’t care who we were, where we were going, or what question we might have.
She took both our passports, weighed the luggage, and began stapling baggage tags to my ticket.
This was the first clue.
Four baggage tags stapled to only one of the tickets when the airline only permitted you to check two pieces per person. My wife was oblivious to all of this but she doesn’t travel much. I saw it as a flagrant abuse of her right to have her own two luggage receipts when she landed in Austria.
The second clue.
Our cheerless clerk said “excuse me, I will be back in a moment” and departed the ticket area. I mean: gone, vanished, invisible, outta there! The second clue something was amiss was her using the phrase “excuse me”. Seasoned travelers know that all airlines have outlawed the phrase “excuse me”. Not done. Never. Unquestionably unacceptable. I was beginning to sweat. My wife was reading a book on her Kindle.
The third clue.
The aforementioned disappearance of the ticket agent. This was no “potty stop”. Something was amiss. Meanwhile, I had an idea of how Marie Antoinette must have felt as she was hauled through town in a farm wagon while villagers through tomatoes at her. What did she think. The tomatoes were slowing up the process but on the other hand the guillotine awaited at the end of the road. She probably hoped for more vegetables.
Behind my wife, who is still reading her Kindle, three full lines of unhappy people, waiting for their turn with my ticket agent, saw that we had seemingly driven her away from her appointed rounds. They were not happy. I was not happy. I think the wife was reading a sad novel because she didn’t look very happy either.
Just before the crowds rioted the erstwhile ticket agent returned. She handed me my ticket. She pointed out the baggage claim stubs. She told me at which gate I would find my plane. She told me my seat number.
This was the fourth clue that something really dire was going to happen. Everything she said or did was directed at me.
She then turned to my wife and asked her to please accompany me, the ticketed and checked in passenger, through security to the departure gate because, and she was so sorry to have to say this, my wife was on “standby”.
Standby!
Dear readers, that was the end of any further Kindle reading. The wife was in assault mode. The only question was whether I was to be assaulted or whether Sally Sad Face was going to get it. I voted for Sally because she was behind a very secure looking counter and I didn’t think the damage would be life threatening. Maybe just a short trip to the hospital.
Upon arriving at the gate I took a seat and started to read the newspaper. Evidently, in the handbook for Knights who rescue Damsels, this is not what you do when a damsel is in distress. I was supposed to go up to the check- in counter where some relative of Sally Sad Face was working. I missed the clue. The wife decided to tilt at this particular windmill herself.
The best response she got, not the first or second try, was “if he is going you will be going so please take your seat”. My wife was partially assuaged. Now she at least knew they were not going to let me go without her. I was not assuaged as I, the one with the ticket the seat, and 100% more baggage stubs than the law allowed, was now faced with being left behind, too.
When the situation was finally resolved my wife was permitted on the flight but was no longer sitting with me. To this day I continue to marvel how Sally Sad Face knew that nine hours with an angry wife sitting beside you was simply too much damage to inflict on a frequent flier.
Obviously Sally looked around for someone who had abused her over the many flight cancellations and arranged for my wife to sit beside him. My faith in Karma was building.
The flight from Washington’s Dulles airport to Vienna was very nice. The food was good and the movies interesting. Please keep in mind that I was sitting six rows in front of my wife and therefore unable to serve as the recipient of her thoughts on the lovely check-in procedure we had just completed.
As I anticipated, nine hours later when we met up in the Vienna airport she was rested and back to her usual wonderful personality.
When we landed and went through customs we were met by a car and driver the hotel had kindly arranged. I was impressed he was driving a lovely and very clean Mercedes wagon. As my time in Vienna lengthened I came to realize almost all taxi’s were Mercedes Benz cars and I had not received any special treatment at all. It was of interest to us that cars considered luxury vehicles in our country are pretty commonly driven in Europe by people in all socio-economic levels.
On arriving at the hotel, we were met by the assistant manager who presented us with a gift one of our son’s had arranged and then took us to the club floor for check in. I was particularly pleased that they had our room ready at 9AM. After an overnight flight, I really like to take a couple of hours of sleep to get my body cycle back on track.
So while my wife got ready for bed and I took a shower I had thoughts of a great nap followed by lunch somewhere in Vienna. As I came out of the bathroom in my undershorts and a tee shirt ready for bed I found a strange man on the floor hammering on something. I looked around and found my wife sitting on the edge of the bed in a robe. She was exhausted. I was exhausted. The guy on the floor was not exhausted. In fact he planned on replacing the built-in refrigerator.
My hope that this would be a simple event, over in a few minutes, was not to be realized. It seems our refrigerator did not want to be replaced. So he hammered, jiggled, bounced, swore, and was a general nuisance for almost 45 minutes. He sweat enough that I actually thought about offering him the use of our shower.
So much for the quick nap to replenish our energy. Eventually, we were able to catch a nap. Well, I thought we could. I had only been asleep for a short time when the telephone rang. It was the Concierge Desk letting me know they were planning a fire alarm test. They were nice enough to say I could participate in an evacuation, or not, if I desired. Take a guess!
I had done some studying and gotten some recommendations on restaurants. Two months earlier I had made reservations at a restaurant that was famous for outstanding Viennese cooking as well as the ambiance of the restaurant and the beautiful oriental rugs. Their specialty was wiener schnitzel.
“Wiener schnitzel!” Who would ever name a food wiener schnitzel? Who would eat a food called that. Not me. They can schnitzel a wiener any way they want but I am taking a regular old hot dog on a bun with ketchup!
We went by taxi and entered the restaurant full of great expectations. It looked a lot like a bar to me, but they were pleased to see us and took us immediately to our table. They didn’t even have to check the reservation list.
I was surprised that we were the only people in the restaurant, as I understood the reputation to be outstanding. We ordered and as we began to eat my wife mentioned there were no oriental rugs. Since they had made such an effort to include them in the restaurant description, we both thought that a bit odd. Being a cynic I just assumed it was another example of untruth in advertising.
You may be wondering why anyone would select a place to eat based on a description of their rugs. I was wondering that, too.
As we finished our meal, which was quite good, and departed the restaurant, we noticed another door in the anteroom. It led to another restaurant downstairs. As we looked down the stairs we could clearly see a beautiful oriental rug. We had just dined in the wrong restaurant. So much for planning. And now I more clearly understood why they mentioned the oriental rugs in the description I had read.
I made a reservation in a restaurant that had, among other qualities, oriental rugs.
I entered a restaurant that was without, among other things, oriental rugs.
Hello! Why did I remain clueless? I choose to attribute it to jet lag.
Friends from Winchendon arrived the following day and we had lunch at the Sacher Hotel, famed for the Sacher Torte dessert. A very nice restaurant made all the more memorable by being the place we were supposed to be.
And not an oriental rug in sight.
That night we had tickets for the opera Hansel & Gretel. My wife and I were pleased it was showing because it was an opera we had taken our own children to on Christmas in New York City many years before. We had tickets purchased about thirty days in advance.
Our seats were so far to the right of the stage it was impossible to see half of the action on the stage. So we settled in to our "limited view seats" to enjoy 100% of the music and 50% of the action. They should have called them "Doofuss seats" in honor or people crazy enough to pay for them.
Since it was Christmas Eve we went to St Stephan’s Cathedral for the midnight mass. The Cathedral was dark and dank. The only seats we could find were on a bench against a cold wall. I estimate there were about 2000 people in attendance. Whoever said that body heat could warm a room never set foot in a European cathedral. The heat from 2000 bodies provided no relief at all.
They had television screens on various columns in the Cathedral and I could clearly see that the choir was not in beautiful robes but rather most of them were in ski jackets.
The ladies who spoke or read during the mass all had on their winter coats.
So the four of us found ourselves in one of the world’s most famous cathedrals. One of us was Jewish. One was Bapt"ist. One remembers people from a previous life. And one was pretty much a "depth charge Christian! We had previously discussed whether it would be appropriate to take communion if it were to be offered. Two of us decided it would be OK if confession was not required in advance.
On a more serious note, the service was really beautiful because thousands of people were there to celebrate the birth of Christ. The voices reciting the mass or singing the hymns, bouncing off vast columns and high ceilings, provided such a rush of good feelings that everyone seemed moved.
It was easy to see why the great cathedrals, and the mega churches that have grown popular in the U.S. have touched so many lives. The sheer magnitude of the experience is incredible. A vast community of worshipers is a mighty powerful force.
Add to this the sonorous bells peeling from the steeple prior to the beginning of the Mass and the depth and volume of the massive organ in the cathedral, and it would be hard not to find this a very special experience.
The next night we had tickets for the Nutcracker Ballet at the famous Vienna Opera House. These tickets had been purchased on the day ticket sales began, about a month before.
The opera house is a fantastic and historical place where so many of the great composers actually presented their works for the very first time. The opera house has seven tiers of seats, all organized in a horseshoe arrangement. We were seated in tier seven!
We were also seated completely on the right and could see only about one third of the stage. It is one thing to see 50% of an opera and quite another to see 33% of a ballet. Imagine watching one toe shoe, or the hemline of a tutu and never getting the full effect. Then there are the glimpses of bodies flying through your vision, when you haven’t seen the launch. It was all a bit surreal.
When we arrived at the opera house and were checking our coats a seemingly brash young couple came up beside me, pushed in front, and twice rammed a tennis racket into my side. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would bring a tennis racket to the opera. He seemed quite boorish. So I made a fast judgment about him that would later prove wrong.
After climbing to the seventh tier and being seated three rows from the ceiling, where I fully expected an oxygen mask to drop at any time with instructions for me to affix it to my face before trying to help any children, who should come down the very steep aisle but the tennis pro! He couldn’t find his seats. He was in need of help! An opportunity for the fellow from America! Carpe Diem!
He approached me and asked for help. Just when I was preparing to tell him what he could do with his tickets, and his tennis racket, he explained that he was from Cypress and that this was his first time in Vienna.
I cut him some slack.
After all, he presented me with the opportunity to show him I was not an “ugly American.” I looked at his tickets and informed him that he had the two seats right in front of me. He was very grateful. After taking his seat he explained that he loved America. I watched while he took a picture of his wife in their seats and then as she took a picture of him. I felt so great to have been able to help.
He had attended undergraduate school in Ohio and had a doctoral degree from Duke. We had a great chat.
When the lights went down and the curtain went up, I sat back to enjoy the ballet. Quickly I remembered that if I leaned forward I could see 1/3 of it, so that is what I did. Sitting back in my seat I could see none of it. For those of you who hate ballet and have a wife who loves ballet, get seats in the peanut gallery. She will spend the entire night leaning out over the rail and you can sit back and enjoy a snooze.
At about that same time a very Germanic looking lady usher came down the aisle with her flashlight. She spoke a few words to my friends from Cypress, and then moved them out of their seats, pushed them up the aisle, and as I watched she reseated them in an area with an even more limited view.
My status as a nice American turned quickly to that of the “ugly American.” I could only hope he thought I had retaliated against his tennis racket behavior rather than that I simply did not know what I was doing.
Relationships between Cypress and the United States may be seriously in jeopardy.
On Christmas morning we got up quite early to go and hear the Vienna Boys’ Choir at Christmas Mass in one of the palace churches. I should mention here that for three of our party of four we were setting a new record for church attendance.
I did not realize that Mass in a palace meant that you sit in different small rooms and listened rather than in one large room where you could listen and watch. Only the palace owner and his family would actually sit in the room where the Mass took place.
Fortunately, in a bow to the modern era they had installed a large screen television in our little room so we could actually see what was going on. It did occur to me that I would be better off in my recliner at home watching on a big screen television! Alas, not one of the choices.
The Vienna Boys’ Choir had an orchestra of thirty players and the entire Mass was very impressive and beautiful. For all my complaining I must admit I truly enjoyed it.
The afternoon of Christmas day we went to see the Lippanzer stallions. This was not a performance. We went to see them “exercise to music.” That was a nice way of saying that we would pay to sit in a balcony seat in a riding arena while the horses trotted around below us.
There will be no bank failures in Vienna!
People pay to watch horses exercise. People pay for seats so high that oxygen might be required. People pay for limited view seats at operas and concerts.
With all this excitement, and in a city so beautiful what do you suppose we did for Christmas evening?
The four of us went back to our hotel.
We canceled our dinner reservations at a chic restaurant and we ate cheeseburgers in the hotel cafe! Some of us even selected diet cokes as the drink of choice. One of us stuck to a martini and a good Cuban cigar.
Guess who!
While it might not have been the best meal of our trip it certainly was the most reasonable. And we could see everything that was happening, we were seated a sea level, and we did not have to mortgage the house to pay the tab.
As our friends departed for a visit to Rimini, Italy, my wife and I headed to Virginia where we would spend New Year’s Eve with our children and grandchildren.
The airlines had some very special plans for our trip home. I have outlined those outrageous experiences in a separate column. I hope you had a chance to read it.
My New Year’s resolution is to give up international travel.
Like my resolutions in previous years regarding diet and exercise, this one will be forgotten about January 5th.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Terrorism in the Air; Inconvenience on the Ground
While we were vacationing in Vienna, Austria over the Christmas holiday there was a terrorist attempt to bring down a plane flying from Amsterdam to Detroit. We read about the event in the local newspapers and heard about it on television channels in Vienna. At the time, we did not know how it would affect our return travel.
With a departure from Vienna to Washington’s Dulles International airport scheduled for 10:50AM on December 27th, we arrive as requested for international flights, two hours before flight time. In fact, we arrived at the airport at 8:30AM.
As we were getting our boarding passes, the ticket counter agent told us to go right to the gate as our flight was boarding. I thought I must have misunderstood so I said: we are on the 10:50AM flight. She responded in the affirmative and repeated her instructions.
So with over two hours before flight time, we approached the gate area. When we saw the lineup of security officials we began to understand that security was now beefed up for flights to America. I would say there were over twice as many people manning the gate. In addition, three dogs assisted them and had their own handlers.
Passengers were told that while typically you could carry on one piece of luggage and one other item, you could only take one thing on the plane. So people had to check additional items at the gate. Everyone’s luggage was opened and examined closely.
Body searches and pat downs were extensive. Both male and female agents were on hand and their hands went everywhere. I learned later that the terrorist on the Amsterdam-Detroit flight had a syringe sewn into the band on his underwear. Well these agents certainly knew if you have anything sewn into your underwear!
They also felt the bottom of your feet with their hands and then they wanded your entire body. This was after you had come through the x-ray machines. They checked your armpits, also.
All of this added a lot of extra time to the screening process. Once you had been screened, you could not leave the gate area. Essentially, this meant for those of us who arrived two hours early we had to sit in a confined area for hours before boarding the plane. This added to the 9 ½ hour flight time made for a long day.
The early part of the flight seemed quite normal. I did notice that when I went to the screen that usually showed the plane and the route it was taking, on the back of the seat in front of me, it was blacked out. I assumed it was a mechanical failure and only learned after landing that the U.S. Government had ordered these screens to be blacked out. No one was to know at any point in time exactly where the plane was in the air.
Ninety minutes before our scheduled landing in Washington, the Viennese lead attendant announced that we would be confined to our seats in thirty minutes and would be unable to get up for the last sixty minutes of the flight. She was clear that these were instructions from U.S. Homeland Security and that Austrian Airlines had nothing to do with them. She suggested anyone needing to use the lavatories do so in the remaining 30 minutes.
In 30 minutes, 60 minutes prior to our scheduled landing, they indeed ordered everyone into their seats and instructed us not to leave the seats until the plane had landed and was at the gate.
She then advised us that they would be collecting all blankets and pillows immediately. Clearly, they did not want you to have anything in your possession that could conceal a bomb or weapon in the 60 minutes prior to landing at our nation’s capital.
Once they had collected all the pillows and blankets, they made a tour of the plane to see that no one had anything on their lap that should not be there. They also announced that no one was to open any carry on suitcase or bag for the remainder of the trip.
We were told that the television, audio and movie equipment would be shut down immediately.
This had the net effect of leaving everyone for one hour without any sort of entertainment or access to any of their carry on items.
On landing, we were advised that we were to pick up our checked baggage at the baggage claim area but that no one was to open any piece of checked baggage until they had fully cleared customs and left the terminal.
As we left the air terminal we were grateful that our flight had been safe and we were happy to endure some additional discomforts in the interest of keeping everyone safe.
I did wonder if our experience was different because we were flying into the nation’s capital or if all international flights to the U.S. were experiencing the same extra security precautions.
While we must all be invested in anything that makes travel more secure in these turbulent times, I would be more comfortable knowing that this level of security was a constant. If it had been, the Amsterdam-Detroit event would not have occurred.
If we only get serious about security after an event, it will guarantee that successful terrorist attacks will occur.
With very real threats acknowledged we must be ready to give up some freedoms in exchange for security. The inconvenience we experienced at the airport was a small price to pay for a better chance to actually arrive safely at our destination.
Newspapers now carry stories wanting to know how the terrorist ever got on the Amsterdam-Detroit flight. It is clear that we as a people do not like to be inconvenienced, but in order to serve our need to be free from inconvenience the government has to do less than would be advised to protect us. Then when tragedy does strike, we look to that same government to explain to us how it could have happened.
Our government’s reaction to this event was like closing the barn door after the horse had escaped.
With a departure from Vienna to Washington’s Dulles International airport scheduled for 10:50AM on December 27th, we arrive as requested for international flights, two hours before flight time. In fact, we arrived at the airport at 8:30AM.
As we were getting our boarding passes, the ticket counter agent told us to go right to the gate as our flight was boarding. I thought I must have misunderstood so I said: we are on the 10:50AM flight. She responded in the affirmative and repeated her instructions.
So with over two hours before flight time, we approached the gate area. When we saw the lineup of security officials we began to understand that security was now beefed up for flights to America. I would say there were over twice as many people manning the gate. In addition, three dogs assisted them and had their own handlers.
Passengers were told that while typically you could carry on one piece of luggage and one other item, you could only take one thing on the plane. So people had to check additional items at the gate. Everyone’s luggage was opened and examined closely.
Body searches and pat downs were extensive. Both male and female agents were on hand and their hands went everywhere. I learned later that the terrorist on the Amsterdam-Detroit flight had a syringe sewn into the band on his underwear. Well these agents certainly knew if you have anything sewn into your underwear!
They also felt the bottom of your feet with their hands and then they wanded your entire body. This was after you had come through the x-ray machines. They checked your armpits, also.
All of this added a lot of extra time to the screening process. Once you had been screened, you could not leave the gate area. Essentially, this meant for those of us who arrived two hours early we had to sit in a confined area for hours before boarding the plane. This added to the 9 ½ hour flight time made for a long day.
The early part of the flight seemed quite normal. I did notice that when I went to the screen that usually showed the plane and the route it was taking, on the back of the seat in front of me, it was blacked out. I assumed it was a mechanical failure and only learned after landing that the U.S. Government had ordered these screens to be blacked out. No one was to know at any point in time exactly where the plane was in the air.
Ninety minutes before our scheduled landing in Washington, the Viennese lead attendant announced that we would be confined to our seats in thirty minutes and would be unable to get up for the last sixty minutes of the flight. She was clear that these were instructions from U.S. Homeland Security and that Austrian Airlines had nothing to do with them. She suggested anyone needing to use the lavatories do so in the remaining 30 minutes.
In 30 minutes, 60 minutes prior to our scheduled landing, they indeed ordered everyone into their seats and instructed us not to leave the seats until the plane had landed and was at the gate.
She then advised us that they would be collecting all blankets and pillows immediately. Clearly, they did not want you to have anything in your possession that could conceal a bomb or weapon in the 60 minutes prior to landing at our nation’s capital.
Once they had collected all the pillows and blankets, they made a tour of the plane to see that no one had anything on their lap that should not be there. They also announced that no one was to open any carry on suitcase or bag for the remainder of the trip.
We were told that the television, audio and movie equipment would be shut down immediately.
This had the net effect of leaving everyone for one hour without any sort of entertainment or access to any of their carry on items.
On landing, we were advised that we were to pick up our checked baggage at the baggage claim area but that no one was to open any piece of checked baggage until they had fully cleared customs and left the terminal.
As we left the air terminal we were grateful that our flight had been safe and we were happy to endure some additional discomforts in the interest of keeping everyone safe.
I did wonder if our experience was different because we were flying into the nation’s capital or if all international flights to the U.S. were experiencing the same extra security precautions.
While we must all be invested in anything that makes travel more secure in these turbulent times, I would be more comfortable knowing that this level of security was a constant. If it had been, the Amsterdam-Detroit event would not have occurred.
If we only get serious about security after an event, it will guarantee that successful terrorist attacks will occur.
With very real threats acknowledged we must be ready to give up some freedoms in exchange for security. The inconvenience we experienced at the airport was a small price to pay for a better chance to actually arrive safely at our destination.
Newspapers now carry stories wanting to know how the terrorist ever got on the Amsterdam-Detroit flight. It is clear that we as a people do not like to be inconvenienced, but in order to serve our need to be free from inconvenience the government has to do less than would be advised to protect us. Then when tragedy does strike, we look to that same government to explain to us how it could have happened.
Our government’s reaction to this event was like closing the barn door after the horse had escaped.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
AMERICA BANKRUPT !
Notes of Concern…
…Jackson Blair
AMERICA BANKRUPT !
The President of the United States has said the country will go bankrupt without passage of the health bill.
He made this statement on ABC television.
This one statement should bring chills to every American.
I do not know if the president is correct.
I do know that presidents measure their words very carefully. The slightest slip, misstatement, or even inflection can send markets roiling and cause uneasiness in the land.
Assuming this president knows that, and I think he does, the statement he has uttered is either evidence that we are in deeper economic trouble than we thought, or it is evidence that he has reached the end of his patience in dealing with this issue he has made key to his presidency and the judgment of history.
When President Kennedy went on television to tell the country about the Cuban Missile Crisis he measured his words and came up with the right balance of seriousness and hope. He also quietly sent his family to the mountain safe retreat built for Washington decision makers. In other words, he knew it could be worse than he described to the American people.
When President George W. Bush faced the economic crisis he did not let on to the American people that we were on the edge of collapse. If you read the books being written by those who were in The White House at that time, you will come to understand how close we came to really losing it all.
Now comes President Obama who goes on national television and actually predicts a bankruptcy for the country. He told us he would be a different kind of president. He said he would try to be more transparent. So I am taking him at his word and I believe he is telling us that something has to give.
It has to be difficult for the President. He needs 60 votes to pass his legislation. His party controls both houses of Congress. He doesn’t have the 60 votes.
Published opinion polls seem to indicate the public does not like the legislation in its current form. Congressmen face voters every two years and they can read polls.
Senators get a six-year term. But one third of them must face voters soon. They can also read polls.
The saddest part of this entire situation is that the goal of healthcare for every American is not one on which most Americans cannot agree. As with so many things, it is the “small print” that has brought this effort up short.
One thing President Obama is reported to have told his colleagues on the Democrat side of the aisle in Congress is that should they fail to produce a healthcare plan this time, no president will risk it again.
It looks today like they will fail to produce meaningful change in healthcare. But it should not be an “all or nothing” deal. Surely common ground can be found for a first step, a step in the right direction that will one day bring the dream of healthcare for all to reality.
If the President’s statement about bankruptcy for the country is accurate, then we are in for a very rough ride indeed.
…Jackson Blair
AMERICA BANKRUPT !
The President of the United States has said the country will go bankrupt without passage of the health bill.
He made this statement on ABC television.
This one statement should bring chills to every American.
I do not know if the president is correct.
I do know that presidents measure their words very carefully. The slightest slip, misstatement, or even inflection can send markets roiling and cause uneasiness in the land.
Assuming this president knows that, and I think he does, the statement he has uttered is either evidence that we are in deeper economic trouble than we thought, or it is evidence that he has reached the end of his patience in dealing with this issue he has made key to his presidency and the judgment of history.
When President Kennedy went on television to tell the country about the Cuban Missile Crisis he measured his words and came up with the right balance of seriousness and hope. He also quietly sent his family to the mountain safe retreat built for Washington decision makers. In other words, he knew it could be worse than he described to the American people.
When President George W. Bush faced the economic crisis he did not let on to the American people that we were on the edge of collapse. If you read the books being written by those who were in The White House at that time, you will come to understand how close we came to really losing it all.
Now comes President Obama who goes on national television and actually predicts a bankruptcy for the country. He told us he would be a different kind of president. He said he would try to be more transparent. So I am taking him at his word and I believe he is telling us that something has to give.
It has to be difficult for the President. He needs 60 votes to pass his legislation. His party controls both houses of Congress. He doesn’t have the 60 votes.
Published opinion polls seem to indicate the public does not like the legislation in its current form. Congressmen face voters every two years and they can read polls.
Senators get a six-year term. But one third of them must face voters soon. They can also read polls.
The saddest part of this entire situation is that the goal of healthcare for every American is not one on which most Americans cannot agree. As with so many things, it is the “small print” that has brought this effort up short.
One thing President Obama is reported to have told his colleagues on the Democrat side of the aisle in Congress is that should they fail to produce a healthcare plan this time, no president will risk it again.
It looks today like they will fail to produce meaningful change in healthcare. But it should not be an “all or nothing” deal. Surely common ground can be found for a first step, a step in the right direction that will one day bring the dream of healthcare for all to reality.
If the President’s statement about bankruptcy for the country is accurate, then we are in for a very rough ride indeed.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
The President Stood Tall
On the Other Hand….
…Jackson Blair
The President Stood Tall
I count myself among those who felt that the Nobel Peace Prize came too early for President Obama. His selection was a controversial one. It wasn’t controversial with reference to what he has done, but rather to what he has not yet had a chance to do.
The President did not ask for the award, did not campaign for the award, did not encourage the committee and may well have been as surprised as others at his selection.
Nevertheless, it did present to him an opportunity to address the world from a very prestigious forum. The controversy surrounding his selection guaranteed that his words would be heard around the world and watched very closely.
Some felt the press and the president’s detractors would use the president’s speech to renew criticism of his selection and to criticize what he would say. Those that thought that way felt there was absolutely nothing President Obama could say that would seem appropriate.
There were others who wanted to focus on a man who is fighting two wars and just authorized the deployment of 30,000 troops to Afghanistan as a ridiculous choice for the Peace Prize.
Our president proved himself a fabulous public speaker during the presidential campaign. He is able to motivate, encourage, praise and inspire while delivering messages that some would prefer not to hear. He left nothing wanting in the speech he delivered for the Nobel attendees.
The president delivered an honest, timely and straightforward address in Oslo. I honestly cannot think of any reason an American anywhere in the world should not be proud of what he said and the way he said it. Newspapers around the world praised his remarks.
The president lauded peace. He decried bloodshed. He placed both in the historical perspective necessary to a balanced view of world affairs.
He was right to point out that historically bloodshed has actually ushered in lengthy eras of peace among nations. He knows that to free peoples around the world often requires dedicated military action. He is well aware that every effort at diplomacy deserves a chance before any military intervention but, in the world in which we live, sometimes the only way to free people is to remove those who oppress them.
The president has a four-year term. He may have a second four-year term. It would be premature to declare this the speech for which he will best be remembered. This writer will be very surprised, however, if it does not rank right up there with the best speeches this president will give.
…Jackson Blair
The President Stood Tall
I count myself among those who felt that the Nobel Peace Prize came too early for President Obama. His selection was a controversial one. It wasn’t controversial with reference to what he has done, but rather to what he has not yet had a chance to do.
The President did not ask for the award, did not campaign for the award, did not encourage the committee and may well have been as surprised as others at his selection.
Nevertheless, it did present to him an opportunity to address the world from a very prestigious forum. The controversy surrounding his selection guaranteed that his words would be heard around the world and watched very closely.
Some felt the press and the president’s detractors would use the president’s speech to renew criticism of his selection and to criticize what he would say. Those that thought that way felt there was absolutely nothing President Obama could say that would seem appropriate.
There were others who wanted to focus on a man who is fighting two wars and just authorized the deployment of 30,000 troops to Afghanistan as a ridiculous choice for the Peace Prize.
Our president proved himself a fabulous public speaker during the presidential campaign. He is able to motivate, encourage, praise and inspire while delivering messages that some would prefer not to hear. He left nothing wanting in the speech he delivered for the Nobel attendees.
The president delivered an honest, timely and straightforward address in Oslo. I honestly cannot think of any reason an American anywhere in the world should not be proud of what he said and the way he said it. Newspapers around the world praised his remarks.
The president lauded peace. He decried bloodshed. He placed both in the historical perspective necessary to a balanced view of world affairs.
He was right to point out that historically bloodshed has actually ushered in lengthy eras of peace among nations. He knows that to free peoples around the world often requires dedicated military action. He is well aware that every effort at diplomacy deserves a chance before any military intervention but, in the world in which we live, sometimes the only way to free people is to remove those who oppress them.
The president has a four-year term. He may have a second four-year term. It would be premature to declare this the speech for which he will best be remembered. This writer will be very surprised, however, if it does not rank right up there with the best speeches this president will give.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
UNsettled
Notes of Concern….
….Jack Blair
Unsettled
There has been a lot of news lately about meetings in Copenhagen to try to find ways to make all of us who live in this world less greedy about, and less abusive to, “Mother Nature”.
Although Al Gore did not really invent the Internet he may be credited with sounding the alarm about “Global Warming”. Lots of folks worried about everything associated with the environment headed over to Copenhagen recently to discuss it.
If you have a few extra minutes you might check on- line and you will find that Copenhagen is one of the most expensive cities to visit. I actually cancelled a planned Christmas trip to Copenhagen when I saw how much more expensive it is than other major cities in the world.
In any event, the decision makers went over there, reportedly, in over 140 private jet airplanes and utilized 70 limousines to get around. For my money, that disqualifies the whole bunch from giving me an education on what we need to do to protect our planet.
Putting aside my own feeling that the Copenhagen conference could have been better located and better organized, let us get to the matter of global warming.
At the outset, let me say that I have absolutely no idea whether I should be scared to death about our future due to the warming of the planet or whether I should be laughing all day over the “hot topic’ issues that get presented to us every year.
Because I felt uneducated about the subject, I have spent a lot of time trying to read all that I can find. I am now about to share with you the results of all my study.
I still do not know where the truth might be found.
Here is what I do know for certain. The world has gone through warming and chilling cycles, since the beginning of recorded time. I refer you to the Ice Age for example.
Another thing I learned from my study is that honorable, educated, experienced scientists and futurists disagree on the subject. Some see catastrophe around the next bend. Others think this is “much ado about nothing”.
Still others wish we put this much concern and effort into feeding the starving and discovering cures for disease.
Add to this the fact that there is recent evidence that scientists who proclaimed a global warming crisis were not only talking about the “cooking” globe but “cooking” the books! There have been admissions at high levels that statistics were modified to fit desired results.
In the legal profession, from law school students to the Supreme Court, there is a great phrase. That phrase is “settled law.”
That phrase is used when questions arise to point out that an issue had previously been raised , made its way through the courts, arrived at the Supreme Court, and was decided.
Once decided, it became the “settled law” of the land. That was the end of it.
My friends, there is nothing “settled” about global warming.
It is still making its way through the “lower courts” of world opinion. One day, hopefully, there will be “settled law” on the subject. And we will then accept the decision and act on it.
In the meantime, it is important for us to keep an open mind and to hear all the voices. That is a requirement of good citizenship.
….Jack Blair
Unsettled
There has been a lot of news lately about meetings in Copenhagen to try to find ways to make all of us who live in this world less greedy about, and less abusive to, “Mother Nature”.
Although Al Gore did not really invent the Internet he may be credited with sounding the alarm about “Global Warming”. Lots of folks worried about everything associated with the environment headed over to Copenhagen recently to discuss it.
If you have a few extra minutes you might check on- line and you will find that Copenhagen is one of the most expensive cities to visit. I actually cancelled a planned Christmas trip to Copenhagen when I saw how much more expensive it is than other major cities in the world.
In any event, the decision makers went over there, reportedly, in over 140 private jet airplanes and utilized 70 limousines to get around. For my money, that disqualifies the whole bunch from giving me an education on what we need to do to protect our planet.
Putting aside my own feeling that the Copenhagen conference could have been better located and better organized, let us get to the matter of global warming.
At the outset, let me say that I have absolutely no idea whether I should be scared to death about our future due to the warming of the planet or whether I should be laughing all day over the “hot topic’ issues that get presented to us every year.
Because I felt uneducated about the subject, I have spent a lot of time trying to read all that I can find. I am now about to share with you the results of all my study.
I still do not know where the truth might be found.
Here is what I do know for certain. The world has gone through warming and chilling cycles, since the beginning of recorded time. I refer you to the Ice Age for example.
Another thing I learned from my study is that honorable, educated, experienced scientists and futurists disagree on the subject. Some see catastrophe around the next bend. Others think this is “much ado about nothing”.
Still others wish we put this much concern and effort into feeding the starving and discovering cures for disease.
Add to this the fact that there is recent evidence that scientists who proclaimed a global warming crisis were not only talking about the “cooking” globe but “cooking” the books! There have been admissions at high levels that statistics were modified to fit desired results.
In the legal profession, from law school students to the Supreme Court, there is a great phrase. That phrase is “settled law.”
That phrase is used when questions arise to point out that an issue had previously been raised , made its way through the courts, arrived at the Supreme Court, and was decided.
Once decided, it became the “settled law” of the land. That was the end of it.
My friends, there is nothing “settled” about global warming.
It is still making its way through the “lower courts” of world opinion. One day, hopefully, there will be “settled law” on the subject. And we will then accept the decision and act on it.
In the meantime, it is important for us to keep an open mind and to hear all the voices. That is a requirement of good citizenship.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
PUBLIC SCHOOL CHALLENGE
Notes of Concern…
…Jackson Blair
PUBLIC SCHOOL CHALLENGE
I want to turn my pen today to the subject of the public schools. I do not work for the public schools. I do work in an independent school. I have worked in public schools in the past.
My own children are products of a combination of public and private education and three of the four of them are teachers.
We all know how the economic crisis has hit us in our pocket books. Many know how the crisis has taken away someone’s job. For lots of people the future is full of fear and worry.
I wish I were able to tell you I don’t think fear and worry are appropriate. This I cannot do. We all must prepare for hard times, and be cognizant that they might last longer than we anticipate.
It is time to be squirrel-like and take in “nuts” for the winter friends! Get out the Boy Scout Manual and “be prepared.” Hope for the best, but be ready for the worst. There are a lot of “sayings” that can be used to reflect our condition today and most of them were born of a similar condition in the past.
Humans are remarkably resilient and they have survived the crisis that their generations encountered just as we shall survive those we confront.
Today I want to look at how the current crisis is impacting the education of children in the public schools.
Since Jimmy Carter decided spending millions on a Department of Education was the way to go, educators have been faced with an ever-growing pile of paperwork.
One could argue that instead of hiring more teachers the involvement of government in local education has actually required the hiring of accountants, planners, budget managers, clerical staff, support personnel, lawyers and auditors.
I challenge you to go on any website that might have this information and take a look at what manning a Department of Education at the Federal level has cost this country.
The Winchendon Public Schools have had to cut their budgets. That is a nice way of saying that people and programs have had to be “downsized”. Within the current academic year I believe the people who are charged with running our community schools will have to do even more “downsizing.” And when the stimulus money that has helped a little bit runs out, there will be a real budgetary shock awaiting the citizens of our little town.
The word “downsizing” has an ominous ring does it not? In this context it usually means:
1. somebody is going to be out of work
2. a school or two somewhere will shut the doors
3. instead of smaller classes, kids will be in larger classes
4. instead of giving more attention to each child, every teacher will be spread really thin
5. someone somewhere will pretend that none of the above will hurt the education of American children
The Superintendent in any district, might as well don a suit of armor and get prepared. As parents see an ever dwindling number of teachers, an ever growing class size, a reduction in programs, and a dwindling of services they will do what parents are supposed to do when something threatens their kids-they will get angry.
The problem for an administrative team is that none of this is their fault. Marching orders on budgets, stimuli, distributions, and a myriad of other teaching related items come directly from the U. S. Department of Education.
Sometimes the U.S. Department of Education gets help with all the bad news from other U.S. Government Departments, for instance, the Treasury Department.
The U.S. Department of Education knows how to follow the chain of command, so they speak to the states. Then the state speaks to the local schools.
Do you have any idea how many people have to be hired just to get all this communicating done? Did these people never hear of “email” and “push mail” or even just a “conference call”? Do they know how to construct a form that does not have to be in triplicate?
When the government asks you to fill out a form, they hire someone to design the form. Then they hire someone to print the form. Afterwards come the mailers of the forms. Then a department to receive the completed forms back.
Someone’s cousin or uncle gets a political appointment to file the forms, actually a large number of relatives get hired because there always are more than one copy of every form so you can send armies of people out with little carts looking for the right filing cabinet for each copy of the form.
I am not even going to get into the people who stamp the forms “received”, others who stamp the date, a couple of folks who stamp CONFIDENTIAL or some other designation for the file.
The sad truth is that most of the communications trickling down recently have contained bad news: “cut this”, “stop that”, “don’t even think of doing what you planned”, “close that”, “reduce this” and so forth.
When someone actually says “raise that” they are almost always talking about our taxes.
The people who get stuck telling you this are local administrators. They had nothing to do with the mandates coming down from on high. They have everything to do with having to implement them, which means they get to carry the message, because Washington understands we local folks might, as the saying goes: “kill the messenger” rather than the writer of the message.
I grew up in a small town called Vandergrift. My aunt, Hazel Orr, was principal of two schools there. She and her fellow teachers had a kindly superintendent with whom they worked but, by and large, they didn’t report to the state or the federal government. I don’t think they actually thought they reported to anybody. I think they thought they worked together in the best interests of the kids.
In those easier times, teachers taught. They didn’t write a gazillion reports. They didn’t need a union. They were among the most respected citizens of the town.
Everybody trusted one another and the job got done. Where I grew up parents didn’t argue with teachers. If their child was in trouble at school, he was in trouble at home. Teachers and parents were partners in this business of education.
What was the job then?
Teaching kids new stuff that they would need to go out in the world and live their lives.
Who knew best how to do this?
Local teachers and the parents (read “neighbors”) who partnered with them in this responsibility.
What is the job today?
Nothing like what I have described above. The goal of delivering an education is the same but the requirements imposed on teachers and administrators are so burdensome that they have much less time to actually interact with students and parents.
As the bad news trickles down in a form that affects you every day, right here where you live, please keep in mind where the ideas and mandates come from.
Let’s cut school administrators a good bit of slack. You cannot imagine how it affects committed educators to be forced to do the kinds of things that are being required today.
At the same time, let us demand that the bureaucracies in Washington and in state capitals be cut to the bone, and that public education of our children become more of a local endeavor.
And just for good measure, send an apple for the teacher with your child tomorrow.
--
…Jackson Blair
PUBLIC SCHOOL CHALLENGE
I want to turn my pen today to the subject of the public schools. I do not work for the public schools. I do work in an independent school. I have worked in public schools in the past.
My own children are products of a combination of public and private education and three of the four of them are teachers.
We all know how the economic crisis has hit us in our pocket books. Many know how the crisis has taken away someone’s job. For lots of people the future is full of fear and worry.
I wish I were able to tell you I don’t think fear and worry are appropriate. This I cannot do. We all must prepare for hard times, and be cognizant that they might last longer than we anticipate.
It is time to be squirrel-like and take in “nuts” for the winter friends! Get out the Boy Scout Manual and “be prepared.” Hope for the best, but be ready for the worst. There are a lot of “sayings” that can be used to reflect our condition today and most of them were born of a similar condition in the past.
Humans are remarkably resilient and they have survived the crisis that their generations encountered just as we shall survive those we confront.
Today I want to look at how the current crisis is impacting the education of children in the public schools.
Since Jimmy Carter decided spending millions on a Department of Education was the way to go, educators have been faced with an ever-growing pile of paperwork.
One could argue that instead of hiring more teachers the involvement of government in local education has actually required the hiring of accountants, planners, budget managers, clerical staff, support personnel, lawyers and auditors.
I challenge you to go on any website that might have this information and take a look at what manning a Department of Education at the Federal level has cost this country.
The Winchendon Public Schools have had to cut their budgets. That is a nice way of saying that people and programs have had to be “downsized”. Within the current academic year I believe the people who are charged with running our community schools will have to do even more “downsizing.” And when the stimulus money that has helped a little bit runs out, there will be a real budgetary shock awaiting the citizens of our little town.
The word “downsizing” has an ominous ring does it not? In this context it usually means:
1. somebody is going to be out of work
2. a school or two somewhere will shut the doors
3. instead of smaller classes, kids will be in larger classes
4. instead of giving more attention to each child, every teacher will be spread really thin
5. someone somewhere will pretend that none of the above will hurt the education of American children
The Superintendent in any district, might as well don a suit of armor and get prepared. As parents see an ever dwindling number of teachers, an ever growing class size, a reduction in programs, and a dwindling of services they will do what parents are supposed to do when something threatens their kids-they will get angry.
The problem for an administrative team is that none of this is their fault. Marching orders on budgets, stimuli, distributions, and a myriad of other teaching related items come directly from the U. S. Department of Education.
Sometimes the U.S. Department of Education gets help with all the bad news from other U.S. Government Departments, for instance, the Treasury Department.
The U.S. Department of Education knows how to follow the chain of command, so they speak to the states. Then the state speaks to the local schools.
Do you have any idea how many people have to be hired just to get all this communicating done? Did these people never hear of “email” and “push mail” or even just a “conference call”? Do they know how to construct a form that does not have to be in triplicate?
When the government asks you to fill out a form, they hire someone to design the form. Then they hire someone to print the form. Afterwards come the mailers of the forms. Then a department to receive the completed forms back.
Someone’s cousin or uncle gets a political appointment to file the forms, actually a large number of relatives get hired because there always are more than one copy of every form so you can send armies of people out with little carts looking for the right filing cabinet for each copy of the form.
I am not even going to get into the people who stamp the forms “received”, others who stamp the date, a couple of folks who stamp CONFIDENTIAL or some other designation for the file.
The sad truth is that most of the communications trickling down recently have contained bad news: “cut this”, “stop that”, “don’t even think of doing what you planned”, “close that”, “reduce this” and so forth.
When someone actually says “raise that” they are almost always talking about our taxes.
The people who get stuck telling you this are local administrators. They had nothing to do with the mandates coming down from on high. They have everything to do with having to implement them, which means they get to carry the message, because Washington understands we local folks might, as the saying goes: “kill the messenger” rather than the writer of the message.
I grew up in a small town called Vandergrift. My aunt, Hazel Orr, was principal of two schools there. She and her fellow teachers had a kindly superintendent with whom they worked but, by and large, they didn’t report to the state or the federal government. I don’t think they actually thought they reported to anybody. I think they thought they worked together in the best interests of the kids.
In those easier times, teachers taught. They didn’t write a gazillion reports. They didn’t need a union. They were among the most respected citizens of the town.
Everybody trusted one another and the job got done. Where I grew up parents didn’t argue with teachers. If their child was in trouble at school, he was in trouble at home. Teachers and parents were partners in this business of education.
What was the job then?
Teaching kids new stuff that they would need to go out in the world and live their lives.
Who knew best how to do this?
Local teachers and the parents (read “neighbors”) who partnered with them in this responsibility.
What is the job today?
Nothing like what I have described above. The goal of delivering an education is the same but the requirements imposed on teachers and administrators are so burdensome that they have much less time to actually interact with students and parents.
As the bad news trickles down in a form that affects you every day, right here where you live, please keep in mind where the ideas and mandates come from.
Let’s cut school administrators a good bit of slack. You cannot imagine how it affects committed educators to be forced to do the kinds of things that are being required today.
At the same time, let us demand that the bureaucracies in Washington and in state capitals be cut to the bone, and that public education of our children become more of a local endeavor.
And just for good measure, send an apple for the teacher with your child tomorrow.
--
COUNTING ON YOU TO KNOW WHAT'S BEST
Notes of Concern…
…Jackson Blair
“Counting On You to Know What’s Best”
As we approach the end of the year, we give a lot of thoughts to gifts and good feelings. After the turn of the year, we give a lot of thought to “paying the piper” for the gifts that were a result of good feelings. It is a never-ending circle.
I want to take a moment to talk about living within one’s means. It applies to people, businesses and governments.
We hear a lot about this but see little of it. If you are fortunate to have an income, and if you plan on an annual basis for your expenses, and put a little away for emergencies, then you should be relatively stress free, at least with reference to finances.
But our society pushes us in so many ways to want more than we can legitimately afford. It encourages us to “lay things away” while we pay for them, or just take them now and pay for them later, or borrow to buy what you want today. There are even some commercials that suggest you can have it now and not pay a dime for 12 or 24 months.
There exists “good sense” or “common sense” but right along beside them exists “nonsense.”
If you want a Mercedes and can only afford a Chevy, common sense suggests you buy the Chevy until your prospects brighten and your career advances and you can one day buy the Mercedes.
Nonsense suggests you buy the Mercedes now and pay for it over ten years.
If you want a home with five bedrooms but can only afford one with three, common sense tells you to buy the three bedroom home.
Nonsense says grab the five bedroom because you will surely get raises every year from now until you die and one day you will look at the astronomical payments as easy to meet.
We need to apply common sense and good sense principles to government at all levels. If we do, we will be ever so much better prepared for the future.
The town manager in any town should be paid what good town managers in similarly sized towns get paid.
The mayor of a city should earn what mayors of other similar cities earn. Same for Governors. The same holds true for Fire Chiefs and Police Chiefs and teachers and so many other public servants.
What does it say about a town, city or state that so overpays public servants that it actually places everyday services at risk?
What does it say about a town that grants multiyear contracts with unreasonable terms and locks itself into a windstorm of ever growing financial obligations when it doesn’t even know if it can keep a school open, continue to pay teachers to guide children, or provide for the current needs of those who protect our property from fire or our homes from burglars.
I know what it says. And if you take a moment, so do you.
At this time of year I am reminded of a familiar carol:
Bobby wants a pair of skates,
Suzy wants a sled
Nellie wants a picture book,
yellow, blue, and red
Now I think I'll leave to you
what to give the rest
Choose for me, dear Santa Claus;
you will know whats best.
-Jolly Old St. Nicholas
And so as we end one year and begin the next, I admonish my readers not to wait for Jolly Old St. Nicholas.
He is not coming.
The tough decisions are ours.
Fortunately, we “will know what’s best.”
And that means we are obligated to select leaders who will deliver to us “what’s best.”
And those leaders are obligated to do so.
Every one of them should be held accountable when they make decisions about “what’s best” for us.
…Jackson Blair
“Counting On You to Know What’s Best”
As we approach the end of the year, we give a lot of thoughts to gifts and good feelings. After the turn of the year, we give a lot of thought to “paying the piper” for the gifts that were a result of good feelings. It is a never-ending circle.
I want to take a moment to talk about living within one’s means. It applies to people, businesses and governments.
We hear a lot about this but see little of it. If you are fortunate to have an income, and if you plan on an annual basis for your expenses, and put a little away for emergencies, then you should be relatively stress free, at least with reference to finances.
But our society pushes us in so many ways to want more than we can legitimately afford. It encourages us to “lay things away” while we pay for them, or just take them now and pay for them later, or borrow to buy what you want today. There are even some commercials that suggest you can have it now and not pay a dime for 12 or 24 months.
There exists “good sense” or “common sense” but right along beside them exists “nonsense.”
If you want a Mercedes and can only afford a Chevy, common sense suggests you buy the Chevy until your prospects brighten and your career advances and you can one day buy the Mercedes.
Nonsense suggests you buy the Mercedes now and pay for it over ten years.
If you want a home with five bedrooms but can only afford one with three, common sense tells you to buy the three bedroom home.
Nonsense says grab the five bedroom because you will surely get raises every year from now until you die and one day you will look at the astronomical payments as easy to meet.
We need to apply common sense and good sense principles to government at all levels. If we do, we will be ever so much better prepared for the future.
The town manager in any town should be paid what good town managers in similarly sized towns get paid.
The mayor of a city should earn what mayors of other similar cities earn. Same for Governors. The same holds true for Fire Chiefs and Police Chiefs and teachers and so many other public servants.
What does it say about a town, city or state that so overpays public servants that it actually places everyday services at risk?
What does it say about a town that grants multiyear contracts with unreasonable terms and locks itself into a windstorm of ever growing financial obligations when it doesn’t even know if it can keep a school open, continue to pay teachers to guide children, or provide for the current needs of those who protect our property from fire or our homes from burglars.
I know what it says. And if you take a moment, so do you.
At this time of year I am reminded of a familiar carol:
Bobby wants a pair of skates,
Suzy wants a sled
Nellie wants a picture book,
yellow, blue, and red
Now I think I'll leave to you
what to give the rest
Choose for me, dear Santa Claus;
you will know whats best.
-Jolly Old St. Nicholas
And so as we end one year and begin the next, I admonish my readers not to wait for Jolly Old St. Nicholas.
He is not coming.
The tough decisions are ours.
Fortunately, we “will know what’s best.”
And that means we are obligated to select leaders who will deliver to us “what’s best.”
And those leaders are obligated to do so.
Every one of them should be held accountable when they make decisions about “what’s best” for us.
Monday, December 7, 2009
The Arrogance of Power ?
Notes of Concern…
…Jack Blair
The Arrogance of Power?
I received an email from an old friend recently. He is a fellow who spent a lot of time in a military hospital after driving over a land mine many years ago. He tears up when he speaks of our country, hears the national anthem, or talks about soldiers.
His email to me under the title of “American Arrogance” was, I suppose, an answer to those who think Americans are arrogant, spoiled, fat and sassy, or whatever. His email contained simply pictures of cemeteries in foreign lands where American men and women are buried, casualties in America’s efforts to protect not only our land, but also other nations, from tyrants.
I read through the list and I looked at the pictures. I made no effort to ascertain whether the numbers are accurate because it simply does not matter. The message is that we have been putting our lives on the line for some many nations for so very many years, sometimes appreciated and often not, and that it is time to take measure of the cost.
President Obama has determined to send 30,000 additional American men and women to fight in Afghanistan. He has laid before the American people his reasoning.
In a recent column I argued against further troops for Afghanistan. I forwarded the my theory that one more drop of American blood should not be shed in that land.
I agree that now that a decision has been made it is best for all of us to support it and to work to make it the right decision.
That said, we must be mindful of the cost of these adventures and keep in the forefront of our thinking that it isn’t just numbers who die, it is people who die. They have names, families and a future when we send them over there. We must be very certain of the value of the cause when we ask our people to place their lives in jeopardy.
Read over the list of Americans who died in Europe and remain there. Then think of the many others buried in far away places in the world in which we live. Never to be visited by family but mourned nevertheless.
This is by no means a complete list. It is simply a list of those we reportedly left in Europe to be honored by those they attempted to help.
1. The American Cemetery at Aisne-Marne, France. A total of 2,289 Americans buried.
2. The American Cemetery at Ardennes, Belgium. A total of 5,329 Americans buried.
3. The American Cemetery at Brittany, France. A total of 4,410Americans buried.
4. Brookwood, England American Cemetery. A total of 468 Americans buried.
5. Cambridge, England. 3812 Americans buried.
6. Epinal, France American Cemetery. A total of 5,525 Americans buried.
7. Flanders Field, Belgium. A total of 368 Americans buried.
8. Florence, Italy. A total of 4,402 Americans buried.
9. Henri-Chapelle, Belgium. A total of 7,992 Americans buried.
10. Lorraine, France. A total of 10,489 Americans buried.
11. Luxembourg, Luxembourg. A total of 5,076 Americans buried
12. Meuse-Argonne. A total of 14,246 Americans buried.
13. Netherlands, Netherlands. A total of 8,301 Americans buried.
14. Normandy, France. A total of 9,387 Americans buried.
15. Oise-Aisne, France. A total of 6,012 Americans buried.
16. Rhone, France. A total of 861Americans buried.
17. Sicily, Italy. A total of 7,861 Americans buried
18. Somme, France. A total of 1,844 Americans buried
19. St. Mihiel, France. A total of 4,153 Americans buried
…Jack Blair
The Arrogance of Power?
I received an email from an old friend recently. He is a fellow who spent a lot of time in a military hospital after driving over a land mine many years ago. He tears up when he speaks of our country, hears the national anthem, or talks about soldiers.
His email to me under the title of “American Arrogance” was, I suppose, an answer to those who think Americans are arrogant, spoiled, fat and sassy, or whatever. His email contained simply pictures of cemeteries in foreign lands where American men and women are buried, casualties in America’s efforts to protect not only our land, but also other nations, from tyrants.
I read through the list and I looked at the pictures. I made no effort to ascertain whether the numbers are accurate because it simply does not matter. The message is that we have been putting our lives on the line for some many nations for so very many years, sometimes appreciated and often not, and that it is time to take measure of the cost.
President Obama has determined to send 30,000 additional American men and women to fight in Afghanistan. He has laid before the American people his reasoning.
In a recent column I argued against further troops for Afghanistan. I forwarded the my theory that one more drop of American blood should not be shed in that land.
I agree that now that a decision has been made it is best for all of us to support it and to work to make it the right decision.
That said, we must be mindful of the cost of these adventures and keep in the forefront of our thinking that it isn’t just numbers who die, it is people who die. They have names, families and a future when we send them over there. We must be very certain of the value of the cause when we ask our people to place their lives in jeopardy.
Read over the list of Americans who died in Europe and remain there. Then think of the many others buried in far away places in the world in which we live. Never to be visited by family but mourned nevertheless.
This is by no means a complete list. It is simply a list of those we reportedly left in Europe to be honored by those they attempted to help.
1. The American Cemetery at Aisne-Marne, France. A total of 2,289 Americans buried.
2. The American Cemetery at Ardennes, Belgium. A total of 5,329 Americans buried.
3. The American Cemetery at Brittany, France. A total of 4,410Americans buried.
4. Brookwood, England American Cemetery. A total of 468 Americans buried.
5. Cambridge, England. 3812 Americans buried.
6. Epinal, France American Cemetery. A total of 5,525 Americans buried.
7. Flanders Field, Belgium. A total of 368 Americans buried.
8. Florence, Italy. A total of 4,402 Americans buried.
9. Henri-Chapelle, Belgium. A total of 7,992 Americans buried.
10. Lorraine, France. A total of 10,489 Americans buried.
11. Luxembourg, Luxembourg. A total of 5,076 Americans buried
12. Meuse-Argonne. A total of 14,246 Americans buried.
13. Netherlands, Netherlands. A total of 8,301 Americans buried.
14. Normandy, France. A total of 9,387 Americans buried.
15. Oise-Aisne, France. A total of 6,012 Americans buried.
16. Rhone, France. A total of 861Americans buried.
17. Sicily, Italy. A total of 7,861 Americans buried
18. Somme, France. A total of 1,844 Americans buried
19. St. Mihiel, France. A total of 4,153 Americans buried
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
AFGHAN HOUND
Notes of Concern…..
……Jackson Blair
AFGHAN HOUNDS?
I yearn for a time when the mention of the word “Afghan” brought to mind the beautiful, cozy and warm blanket we kept over the sofa, or on other occasions the visual of a beautiful dog with silky hair running through a field.
The American Kennel Club describes the Afghan hound this way:
“The Afghan Hound is an aristocrat, his whole appearance one of dignity and aloofness with no trace of plainness or coarseness.”
Whoever named this beautiful dog must have been smoking some of those poppies the Afghans are shipping out of their country every day.
It would be a similar story with the warm, cozy and comfortable blanket on the back of the sofa. Show me a description of the Afghan warlords that uses the words: warm, cozy and comfortable. Then again I suppose Osama bin Laden is warm, cozy and comfortable in his undisclosed location. And in all these years we haven’t found it.
Today when I hear “Afghan” I think of Afghanistan and it is a very frightening thought. Afghanistan seems to have been involved in some sort of tribal warfare for as long as anyone can remember. As a person who studies history, I am well aware of the fate of outsiders who have attempted to involve themselves in these tribal wars.
When our nation descended on Afghanistan we were told it was for a couple of reasons. As I recall, we were there to help the “good guys” (although it was tough to identify anyone who fit that label!), to punish the “bad guys” (evidently anyone in, or sympathetic to, Al Qaida), and to catch the “Mr. BIG” of terrorism, Osama bin Laden.
With reference to helping the “good guys” we haven’t been too successful. These folks love to fight with one another and the only thing that somewhat unites them as a nation is the interference of outsiders. Please note that WE are the “outsiders”.
With reference to punishing the “bad guys” we get another failing grade. They are still very much in evidence in that country and their pastime is killing American soldiers and blowing up innocents who get in their way.
With reference to catching “Mr. BIG” I can only say that we haven’t even come close. And to make matters worse, he keeps sending us messages on film!
The General in charge of EVERYTHING has asked for more troops in order to get his job done.
The President in charge of the General has convened his advisors in the Situation Room of The White House for what seems to be hundreds of meetings over a very long time. The folks meeting in the posh White House have failed to deliver anything to the troops on the ground, as the General in charge of EVERYTHING, who represents them, has noticed.
With each meeting at The White House, with each passing day, more young men and women shed their blood in Afghanistan.
I hesitate to bring this up, but this situation is reminiscent of a burning Rome while Caesar is reputed to have been “fiddling”.
I admit that I no longer think The United States of America has any business being in Afghanistan and we should be unwilling to sacrifice one more American life to try to bring order to those internal tribal battles.
We do not need to maintain an army on the ground in Afghanistan to look for Mr. BIG. Turn that over to the CIA and other world intelligence organizations (like the Israelis’ MOSSAD) that have even more interest in finding him. And I expect they would, it would be quick, and we would never know what happened to him. If you ever followed how they got the terrorists who murdered the Israel Olympic athletes you know what I mean.
No one in America cares which tribe wins in Afghanistan, and I seriously doubt any of us will be living if and when that decision is finally made. Actually, I don’t think it will be resolved. There is no impetus to resolve it. It is their way of life. One might ask how in the world we got dragged into that family feud, or at least why we are still standing between the Afghan version of The Hatfields and The McCoys.
There are not really any “white hats” for us to support in Afghanistan. There are good people in Afghanistan and I in no way want to detract from their goodness, but my friends, they are not running the government and are unlikely to be running it any time soon.
The people who grow the poppies, or protect the growers of the poppies, or who are involved in the drug trade, those are the people who really call the shots in Afghanistan. And these people are very happy for us to keep their enemies busy while they continue to grow their magnificently profitable crops.
I wish I could suggest to the President of our country that it is time to bring the troops home from Afghanistan. I think I will shoot a hard copy of this column to him. He won’t see it but some “gofer” will and he will add me to the column of “letters from those opposed” that he keeps, and he will tell Obama one day what those numbers look like. Of course, all the folks in the White House might still be meeting and trying to figure out what to do. Certainly, the General should be retired by then.
If I have failed to convince you that Afghanistan is one very big, dark hole down which we are pouring our money and our young people, please ask our new Russian friends to brief you on their
……Jackson Blair
AFGHAN HOUNDS?
I yearn for a time when the mention of the word “Afghan” brought to mind the beautiful, cozy and warm blanket we kept over the sofa, or on other occasions the visual of a beautiful dog with silky hair running through a field.
The American Kennel Club describes the Afghan hound this way:
“The Afghan Hound is an aristocrat, his whole appearance one of dignity and aloofness with no trace of plainness or coarseness.”
Whoever named this beautiful dog must have been smoking some of those poppies the Afghans are shipping out of their country every day.
It would be a similar story with the warm, cozy and comfortable blanket on the back of the sofa. Show me a description of the Afghan warlords that uses the words: warm, cozy and comfortable. Then again I suppose Osama bin Laden is warm, cozy and comfortable in his undisclosed location. And in all these years we haven’t found it.
Today when I hear “Afghan” I think of Afghanistan and it is a very frightening thought. Afghanistan seems to have been involved in some sort of tribal warfare for as long as anyone can remember. As a person who studies history, I am well aware of the fate of outsiders who have attempted to involve themselves in these tribal wars.
When our nation descended on Afghanistan we were told it was for a couple of reasons. As I recall, we were there to help the “good guys” (although it was tough to identify anyone who fit that label!), to punish the “bad guys” (evidently anyone in, or sympathetic to, Al Qaida), and to catch the “Mr. BIG” of terrorism, Osama bin Laden.
With reference to helping the “good guys” we haven’t been too successful. These folks love to fight with one another and the only thing that somewhat unites them as a nation is the interference of outsiders. Please note that WE are the “outsiders”.
With reference to punishing the “bad guys” we get another failing grade. They are still very much in evidence in that country and their pastime is killing American soldiers and blowing up innocents who get in their way.
With reference to catching “Mr. BIG” I can only say that we haven’t even come close. And to make matters worse, he keeps sending us messages on film!
The General in charge of EVERYTHING has asked for more troops in order to get his job done.
The President in charge of the General has convened his advisors in the Situation Room of The White House for what seems to be hundreds of meetings over a very long time. The folks meeting in the posh White House have failed to deliver anything to the troops on the ground, as the General in charge of EVERYTHING, who represents them, has noticed.
With each meeting at The White House, with each passing day, more young men and women shed their blood in Afghanistan.
I hesitate to bring this up, but this situation is reminiscent of a burning Rome while Caesar is reputed to have been “fiddling”.
I admit that I no longer think The United States of America has any business being in Afghanistan and we should be unwilling to sacrifice one more American life to try to bring order to those internal tribal battles.
We do not need to maintain an army on the ground in Afghanistan to look for Mr. BIG. Turn that over to the CIA and other world intelligence organizations (like the Israelis’ MOSSAD) that have even more interest in finding him. And I expect they would, it would be quick, and we would never know what happened to him. If you ever followed how they got the terrorists who murdered the Israel Olympic athletes you know what I mean.
No one in America cares which tribe wins in Afghanistan, and I seriously doubt any of us will be living if and when that decision is finally made. Actually, I don’t think it will be resolved. There is no impetus to resolve it. It is their way of life. One might ask how in the world we got dragged into that family feud, or at least why we are still standing between the Afghan version of The Hatfields and The McCoys.
There are not really any “white hats” for us to support in Afghanistan. There are good people in Afghanistan and I in no way want to detract from their goodness, but my friends, they are not running the government and are unlikely to be running it any time soon.
The people who grow the poppies, or protect the growers of the poppies, or who are involved in the drug trade, those are the people who really call the shots in Afghanistan. And these people are very happy for us to keep their enemies busy while they continue to grow their magnificently profitable crops.
I wish I could suggest to the President of our country that it is time to bring the troops home from Afghanistan. I think I will shoot a hard copy of this column to him. He won’t see it but some “gofer” will and he will add me to the column of “letters from those opposed” that he keeps, and he will tell Obama one day what those numbers look like. Of course, all the folks in the White House might still be meeting and trying to figure out what to do. Certainly, the General should be retired by then.
If I have failed to convince you that Afghanistan is one very big, dark hole down which we are pouring our money and our young people, please ask our new Russian friends to brief you on their
REVENGE OF A GOLF WIDOW
NOTES OF CONCERN…
… Jackson Blair
REVENGE OF A GOLF WIDOW
Disclaimer: everything to which I refer is fiction. The piece is not meant to offend anyone and all names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Events of recent days have presented me with a wonderful opportunity.
There are books galore on the game of golf. I thought there was nothing new to cover in the realm of chasing the little white ball around the course.
WRONG!
Now there is an entirely new concern for golfers. For many years golfers joked about “golf widows” as they bellied up to the bar at the 19th hole. The new concern could morph into a concern for women golfers but for the moment I am dealing just with the guys!
The “golf widow” was benign. She complained from time to time as you headed to the garage to get the car and the clubs but once you were out of the driveway she was off to shop or meet friends for lunch. It was all sort of scripted. You golfed. She needed to pretend she wished you stayed home. She shopped and lunched. You needed to think of her as pining away in front of the TV until you returned from your manly outing. You fed on one another’s fantasies.
Over the past few days a new danger for golfers has come to my attention. While it might well be a version of the “golf widow” I think all will agree that it is more a dangerous variation in type.
Let me explain it to you in terms you golfers will understand.
All your golfing life you have been concerned about the LIE.
You are so consumed with your golf that you have permitted that word in golf terminology to invade your home life. When your wife accuses you of the big LIE she is not talking about a little white ball primly resting of beautiful green grass.
As you know from the course, your LIE is obvious to everyone. As in golf, as in life your LIE is obvious to everyone, especially the wife.
When she asks you to tell her the truth about that Bimbo named Muffy she is sure you are dating, she is not going to believe it when you tell her Muffy is just your CADDIE. While it may be true that Muffy is engaged in carrying an old bag full of balls around, your wife only wants to be certain you aren’t the old bag she is ADDRESSING.
I don’t think there are any real good times for this discussion between you and your wife but I am pretty sure I can tell you not to engage in it at 2AM. That is definitely now the bewitching hour. No 2AM golf discussions with the bride.
You are caught in a SAND TRAP of Saint Andrew’s proportions. Your explanation of the LIE didn’t take. You might try and take a MULLIGAN but I think it might be best to just tough it out. The BALL IS IN PLAY and you have a lot to lose here. No matter how suave you think you are, you are an AMATEUR pal.
There was a HAZARD in your play and you ignored it. The HAZARD was that your wife might find out what you were up to.
You PLAYED THROUGH.
Now you are looking for a BUNKER, any BUNKER, so you can hunker down and pray. You have become a SANDTRAP Christian.
The wife is looking at the ALIGNMENT and TEEING up your ball. She is beginning to take a BACKSWING with your DRIVER. There are not a lot of options for you here. Since she might employ an EXPLOSION SHOT right from your very own bunker. You decide it might be the better part of valor to head for your CART.
Why not? You love your cart. It is big and beautiful and looks a lot like a Cadillac Escalade. Your mind is running on Exxon. You have a “tiger in your tank” as the old advertisements used to proclaim.
So you jump out of your hunker in the BUNKER and head to your CART. As you mount the driver’s seat you notice that the wife is in close pursuit and waving the very large HEAD of your driver in the air.
You don’t know if she is hoping for a BIRDIE or a BOGEY but you are determined that since she did not yell FORE you need to watch out for flying clubs or balls.
As a matter of extra safety, you lock all your doors.
Important lesson: locked doors are not a safeguard against a beautifully placed DRIVE, like against your supposedly unbreakable windows.
The wife takes a good BACKSWING and keeps her eyes on the ball, which in this case looks amazingly like your head. Her FOLLOW THROUGH is superb and the window shatters into small pieces.
Your foot hits the pedal and your CART, which is in reverse, hits a fire hydrant and CONTINUES TO PLAY THROUGH to the closest tree.
The wife is now in the cart and ADDRESSING your bleeding head.
She doesn’t like the ALIGNMENT so pulls your sorry form out of the seat and onto the grass.
You try to tell her that you are on GROUND UNDER REPAIR and that she is not really following MATCH PLAY rules, but she is looking for an iron so she can take a great second shot and may be actually looking forward to the BACK NINE.
As you fade in and out of consciousness she reminds you that your LIE is not all that good, as she reaches for a THREE WOOD.
Fortunately, your neighbors hear the commotion. The wives are not sure what is happening but the fellows have a “knowing look” on their faces. They have heard your stories about Muffy at the bar. They are the ones who decide it would be safer to stay inside and just call “911.”
You are not usually out playing in the grass at 2AM so you are surprised how many amateur photographers are around just waiting to take a picture of you and of your GOLF CART.
As the days move forward and your medical needs are attended you keep running into people, with pens and paper, who want to learn about your LIE.
Things are not too happy in your CLUBHOUSE. You cannot drive your CART. Your GOLFING BUDDIES are ignoring your plight. Your wife is out shopping and dining and she took all the credit cards.
Your life looks pretty grim.
Oh well, there will always be a Muffy.
So today my friends we introduce a new word to the language of golf.
You can START play with a MULLIGAN and you can FINISH play with a MUFFY.
But in between- always be mindful of the LIE.
… Jackson Blair
REVENGE OF A GOLF WIDOW
Disclaimer: everything to which I refer is fiction. The piece is not meant to offend anyone and all names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Events of recent days have presented me with a wonderful opportunity.
There are books galore on the game of golf. I thought there was nothing new to cover in the realm of chasing the little white ball around the course.
WRONG!
Now there is an entirely new concern for golfers. For many years golfers joked about “golf widows” as they bellied up to the bar at the 19th hole. The new concern could morph into a concern for women golfers but for the moment I am dealing just with the guys!
The “golf widow” was benign. She complained from time to time as you headed to the garage to get the car and the clubs but once you were out of the driveway she was off to shop or meet friends for lunch. It was all sort of scripted. You golfed. She needed to pretend she wished you stayed home. She shopped and lunched. You needed to think of her as pining away in front of the TV until you returned from your manly outing. You fed on one another’s fantasies.
Over the past few days a new danger for golfers has come to my attention. While it might well be a version of the “golf widow” I think all will agree that it is more a dangerous variation in type.
Let me explain it to you in terms you golfers will understand.
All your golfing life you have been concerned about the LIE.
You are so consumed with your golf that you have permitted that word in golf terminology to invade your home life. When your wife accuses you of the big LIE she is not talking about a little white ball primly resting of beautiful green grass.
As you know from the course, your LIE is obvious to everyone. As in golf, as in life your LIE is obvious to everyone, especially the wife.
When she asks you to tell her the truth about that Bimbo named Muffy she is sure you are dating, she is not going to believe it when you tell her Muffy is just your CADDIE. While it may be true that Muffy is engaged in carrying an old bag full of balls around, your wife only wants to be certain you aren’t the old bag she is ADDRESSING.
I don’t think there are any real good times for this discussion between you and your wife but I am pretty sure I can tell you not to engage in it at 2AM. That is definitely now the bewitching hour. No 2AM golf discussions with the bride.
You are caught in a SAND TRAP of Saint Andrew’s proportions. Your explanation of the LIE didn’t take. You might try and take a MULLIGAN but I think it might be best to just tough it out. The BALL IS IN PLAY and you have a lot to lose here. No matter how suave you think you are, you are an AMATEUR pal.
There was a HAZARD in your play and you ignored it. The HAZARD was that your wife might find out what you were up to.
You PLAYED THROUGH.
Now you are looking for a BUNKER, any BUNKER, so you can hunker down and pray. You have become a SANDTRAP Christian.
The wife is looking at the ALIGNMENT and TEEING up your ball. She is beginning to take a BACKSWING with your DRIVER. There are not a lot of options for you here. Since she might employ an EXPLOSION SHOT right from your very own bunker. You decide it might be the better part of valor to head for your CART.
Why not? You love your cart. It is big and beautiful and looks a lot like a Cadillac Escalade. Your mind is running on Exxon. You have a “tiger in your tank” as the old advertisements used to proclaim.
So you jump out of your hunker in the BUNKER and head to your CART. As you mount the driver’s seat you notice that the wife is in close pursuit and waving the very large HEAD of your driver in the air.
You don’t know if she is hoping for a BIRDIE or a BOGEY but you are determined that since she did not yell FORE you need to watch out for flying clubs or balls.
As a matter of extra safety, you lock all your doors.
Important lesson: locked doors are not a safeguard against a beautifully placed DRIVE, like against your supposedly unbreakable windows.
The wife takes a good BACKSWING and keeps her eyes on the ball, which in this case looks amazingly like your head. Her FOLLOW THROUGH is superb and the window shatters into small pieces.
Your foot hits the pedal and your CART, which is in reverse, hits a fire hydrant and CONTINUES TO PLAY THROUGH to the closest tree.
The wife is now in the cart and ADDRESSING your bleeding head.
She doesn’t like the ALIGNMENT so pulls your sorry form out of the seat and onto the grass.
You try to tell her that you are on GROUND UNDER REPAIR and that she is not really following MATCH PLAY rules, but she is looking for an iron so she can take a great second shot and may be actually looking forward to the BACK NINE.
As you fade in and out of consciousness she reminds you that your LIE is not all that good, as she reaches for a THREE WOOD.
Fortunately, your neighbors hear the commotion. The wives are not sure what is happening but the fellows have a “knowing look” on their faces. They have heard your stories about Muffy at the bar. They are the ones who decide it would be safer to stay inside and just call “911.”
You are not usually out playing in the grass at 2AM so you are surprised how many amateur photographers are around just waiting to take a picture of you and of your GOLF CART.
As the days move forward and your medical needs are attended you keep running into people, with pens and paper, who want to learn about your LIE.
Things are not too happy in your CLUBHOUSE. You cannot drive your CART. Your GOLFING BUDDIES are ignoring your plight. Your wife is out shopping and dining and she took all the credit cards.
Your life looks pretty grim.
Oh well, there will always be a Muffy.
So today my friends we introduce a new word to the language of golf.
You can START play with a MULLIGAN and you can FINISH play with a MUFFY.
But in between- always be mindful of the LIE.
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