Maligning Our Pets

MALIGNING OUR PETS

Man’s best friend is widely believed to be the dog.  Running a close second is the cat.

Dogs are faithful companions, great sympathizers, always up for a romp,  eager for road trips and there are so many more accolades that could be listed. Cats want to snuggle and entertain and keep themselves immaculately clean.

But for some reason dogs and cats get a bad wrap by the wordsmiths.

There are those “dog days of summer.”

There are those over read books that are “dog eared.”

Some people look like “dogs.”

But they also get a few kudos, too.

As in “he was dogged in his pursuit of the goal.”

And then there are the sly, slinky, nine-lives felines.

Somehow the idea of getting a “cat nap” just doesn’t seem reasonable to me. Long naps are good. Short naps are, well, short.

I have two cats. They nap all the time unless they are eating or mousing. No short naps for these cats. So where does “cat nap” come from?

Then there is one of my favorite descriptive words: cattywampus.

I was at a board meeting one day and the guy at the end of the table was wearing a toupee. Somehow it went cattywampus on his head, which means askew or not quite right. Of course he did not know he had cattywampus hair but you could see the smiles appearing on faces around the table and I feel certain he wondered what was going on.

The derision of being cattywampus comes into play in many situations.

Ever drive down a highway right after they painted the white line in the middle?  Almost always someone drives over the paint and skews the line, bringing it to a cattywampus state.

Then there is the perhaps more commonly used phrase: catty corner.  When houses are diagonally across from one another it is said they are “catty corner from each other.”

When the secretaries in the steno pool are whispering about someone’s bad taste in clothes we say they are being “catty.”

And how about the “catwalk.”

There is something sexist here because the catwalk is where the female models show off a designer’s new clothes. So it certainly does not refer to the actual stage, but rather sexily to the “cats,” or the models themselves (no “dogs” there!)

There are many examples of wordsmiths taking in vain the noble qualities of dogs and cats. It just isn’t fair. I think we need to stop it.

My Labrador Retriever Lucy and my cats Maggie and Toby think this could be a movement.

I challenge each of you who agree dogs and cats should not be used to describe unfortunate situations to go outside right now and dump a 50# bag of Purina pet food over your head while standing in a dog dish filled with water.

Have someone film this and put it online. It will go viral. And you will have made your statement.

Then go back inside and pet your dog or cat.

They will thank you for it.

And by the way, Lucy, Maggie and Toby send along their thanks, too.