FAT CATS OF WALL STREET, and elsewhere

Notes of Concern…

                               …Jackson Blair

FAT CATS

If you have been watching newscasts about the current demonstrations and occupations around the country you have seen the term “Fat Cats” used quite often.

The people who are protesting feel that the “Fat Cats” of Wall Street have received way too much favorable consideration from the Obama administration and they should be held accountable for fleecing the people. This is a short attempt at describing what protestors are doing and in no way is meant to be a complete description of all their concerns.

At our home we have a fat cat named Toby. He was so fat when we got him we started calling him Tubby. He didn’t care what we called him as long as we were calling him to feed him. 

We inherited this obese feline when our daughter moved to England. My wife immediately put Toby/Tubby on a serious diet. Our other cat, Maggie, is svelte and agile. Toby/Tubby is not seen moving often so it is difficult to determine if he is agile, although we do get a glimpse of him in spirited flight anytime he encounters our two Labrador retrievers.

In some ways our Toby is like the Wall Street executives who really don’t care what you are asking as long as you are willing to sign a document designed to tie you to payments for 30 plus years at a good interest rate, guaranteeing you will lose your investment if you are late making payments or if some other disaster should befall you, like unemployment. He will sign anything for food.

The Wall Street Fat Cats want you to invest in bogus instruments and stocks, according to lore, so they can join the country club and drive the Ferrari. Our fat cat, Toby, just wants you to feed him some more because you think he will like you. The purring is all theater stuff!

Well our Toby has taken umbrage at the common and popularly accepted belief that these money grabbing, unscrupulous and greedy folks are like a cat. He is also particularly sensitive to their being likened to a fat cat.

As Toby points out, cats whether fat or slim are rather exquisite creatures who get to spend most of their time eating, mousing, or sleeping in the sun. They ask very little from society. They will happily purr when you pet them. They ask only that you feed them and leave them alone.

While they are often called a “family pet” I can assure you that they are really Lords/Lady’s of the Castle.

“Cats Rule” is Toby’s motto.

Toby thinks that a more proper comparison between greedy executives and animals would be the designation “Fat Dog”. He defends his position by pointing out that dogs do not purr. They gulp down food as if it would be their last meal. They do not clean their face after eating and certainly do not wash their hands. They insist on hanging their heads out windows of speeding cars. They bark at anything. They are both paranoid and slobbering in their dependence on humans.

They exhibit none of the class, independence or intelligence of a cat.

Toby hopes the intrepid reporters, both print and television, will begin to see that it is not the regal cat but the eager and dysfunctional dog that deserves to be compared to the greedy group of Wall Street Barons and money changers throughout the land.

So Toby hopes my readers will begin immediately to refer to the “Fat Dogs” of Wall Street.

Actually, when you think about it, it makes a lot of sense.

But then, Toby is my cat.

My dogs, on reading this column, responded with:

“Doggerel!”

(Wikipedia: Doggerel is a derogatory term for verse considered of little literary value. The word probably derived from dog, suggesting either ugliness, or unpalatability)

Oh boy!  I sense the dogs are going to want next week’s column!