FADE TO BLACK

Notes of Concern…
….Jack Blair


FADE TO BLACK


We have come to the end of the “Prom Season”.

Watching all the boys and girls looking forward to the big night, and observing the rite of passage, brought back many memories for me, but also reminded me there was an opportunity to offer some observations on how this age old outing provides a teachable moment.

As these same young people go out into the world they will find a lot of “rites of passage” ahead of them. Interestingly, most of them require a greater deal of sophistication and an understanding of history.

Teenagers who revel in their Prom often get involved in the details in interesting ways. The girls spend a great deal of time picking out just the right dress. Then the couples work on the details. The guy looks for a cummerbund in a color that matches the girl’s color choices. Sometimes he seeks a clip on bow tie in the same color. Occasionally there is an effort to match the boys’ accessories with the color of the corsage the girl will wear. On some of these occasions, a group of boys and girls will rent a limo for the big night. Often the color of choice is white.

What is most interesting in all of this is how wrong these choices are historically, traditionally, and how they can say a lot about one’s understanding of courtship.

Long after the prom is over, making the same decisions becomes a bit more important.

Balls (dances, proms) were historically opportunities to display the beauty of women. From this history comes the idea of the “Belle” of the Ball. The ladies were supposed to capture everyone’s attention. Nothing was to detract from the ladies. Certainly, no male escort was to detract from the attention being paid to the lady on his arm.

So the ladies made or purchased beautiful dresses. They carefully selected the jewelry, usually a lot of what today we call “bling”. Sometimes they wore fur stoles or their dresses had long trains, or their dresses were made with the most beautiful fabrics available.

And the men?

No man wore color.

All men wore black.

Their tuxedo was black. Their tie was black. Their cummerbund was black. Their shoes were black. In other words, the men all faded into the background. The men all looked identical. There was not one ounce of color that could detract from the lady on their arm who was to be the center of attention for the evening.

This plain black backdrop extended even to the limousine. It was black, too. If the escort shouldn’t draw attention away from the “Belle”, certainly the car should not either.

So the Prom offers an opportunity for us to advise the young boys who are becoming young men that the official role of the gentleman in future outings that involve dates and dancing is to fade into the background.

Let your lady be the center of attention. You fade to black and revel in the attention being lavished on your date.

Until you begin seeing presidents, ambassadors, senators and diplomats, not to mention chief executive officers, arriving in white limousines (don’t hold your breath) your role is to fade to black.

This may seem to be seriously unfair. All the attention is paid to the lady on your arm. Well, as in all things, there are hidden rewards. Every man who has faded to black, as tradition suggests is appropriate, has the great pleasure and joy of seeing the lady he has invited, the lady on his arm, competing with all the other ladies to be the “Belle of the Ball”.

This seems to satisfy the male competitiveness, the testosterone fueled need to be seen as the focus of attention. He basks in the reflected glow of the lady on his arm.

So everyone is a winner!