SEOUL, South Korea

Global Adventure-Part 5 in the Series

SEOUL, South Korea

-Jackson Blair


Seoul’s airport is actually in Inchon, Korea. It is about 90 minutes drive into the city. Many of the Asian airports are far removed from the cities they serve and one has to keep this in mind when planning any trip. Whatever the time it takes to fly to a country in Asia you often need to add two more hours, or more, to get through customs and make it to your hotel.

This is my second visit to Seoul. I looked forward to returning because I was staying at the InterContinental Grand Hotel, the same hotel I used six years ago. This hotel has a three-story high lobby area and live classical music is often played for the enjoyment of the guests. There are many comfortable chairs and sofas arranged in conversational groupings. Some days a pianist is playing and on other days a string quartet entertains.

As a cigar aficionado, I also appreciate this hotel because they have a Havana Cigar Bar. This is a beautifully appointed room with leather furniture, great airflow and air cleaning equipment, a wonderful long mahogany bar, and a glass enclosed humidor holding some of the finest Cuban cigars. This is a great place to retreat to after a long and hard day.

The hotel sits atop a huge shopping mall. It is also situated next to one of Korea’s largest department stores. So shopping for gifts to take home is quite easy and convenient. The American dollar still goes pretty far here, although you would not think so when you look at the prices.

For instance, I went to the lobby lounge today and ordered an ice tea. When the bill came it said I owed the hotel 15,400 !!! Now I do not care if the tea was squeezed out of the bag by Bill Clinton, Michelle Obama, and Betty Ford while Madonna sang and Fred Astaire danced, I am not paying 15,400 for the drink.

Then I remembered I had to do some long division. I got out my calculator and divided 15,400 by 1314 and came up with $11 U.S. dollars. I have to tell you I wasn’t a lot happier with the idea of $11 for a glass of ice tea, but I told them if they would keep Madonna and Michelle in the mix it would be “OK.”

In the shopping area I encountered Dunkin Donuts, TGI Fridays, Bennigans and so many more American restaurants. I don’t know whether they are here because Koreans like American food or because so many Americans stay in the hotel and patronize these places. I must admit a morning trip for a bagel and Dunkin Donuts coffee was a welcome part of my day. To take breakfast at the hotel involved a huge buffet that came at a large price. If you ate all the food offered on the buffet, the huge price was probably reasonable. That said, you would have needed a family of illegal immigrants and a couple of very hungry convicts on the “lam” to do justice to this quantity of food.

A friend here who is a professor and a cardiac pediatrician took me for dinner one night to what he termed “a great American place.” It was a restaurant in the Lexington Hotel.

The restaurant featured fantastic steaks and was decorated completely with pictures, autographs, and memorabilia of American presidents.

We dined in a private room where hanging on the walls were personally inscribed portraits from the Reagans, the Carters, the Fords, and individual portraits of Lady Bird Johnson and Betty Ford. There were also four beautifully framed Life Magazine covers featuring the Kennedys of Massachusetts.

After weeks on Asian food, I was so pleased to have a good steak and potatoes. Also, I was moved that my friend went out of his way to select a place he knew I would like.

This is the way visitors are treated in South Korea. For that matter, the experience is similar in China. The entire thrust of any event is to make the visitor comfortable, at home, happy, and to show him the country. I have never visited any country in Asia where my hosts did not go to great lengths to make me feel welcome and to show me all the things of which they are proud.

I happen to like a martini. I also like coffee. And I like a good cigar.

My host doesn’t drink alcohol, does not like coffee, and rarely smokes. He can’t help it. He is a cardiac surgeon! Having said that, I noticed that he ordered a martini for himself at dinner, he ordered coffee after dinner and he joined me in a cigar.

He did all of this to make me feel comfortable, not because he personally enjoyed any of it. I have visited often enough to know, however, that what made him happy and comfortable was in knowing I was happy and comfortable. What a great attitude!

As I look out at the hustle and bustle of Seoul I am reminded that we had a little something to do with their freedom. Ike and his friends made certain these folks could live free of the tyranny of North Korea. You may not remember the story but it has been told often enough to be possibly true! President Eisenhower was golfing at the Burning Tree Country Club and an aide ran up and said: “Mr. President, the North Koreans have invaded South Korea. What shall we do?”

Ike looked up from his putt and is reported to have remarked: “Tell them to get the hell out of there.” And he went on with his game.

The important lesson here is that (1) he meant it, and (2) the North Koreans knew he meant it.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we still could handle international problems that way?

I believe we still have about 138,000 American troops stationed here, most of them on the 38th parallel that marks the separation between the two Koreas.

Now it is relatively well known in our country that North Korea is currently run by a certifiable nut-case. We have no need to discuss this because it is a generally acceptable assessment of Kim Jong Il. Lately, Kim has been making a lot of trouble, mostly surrounding a missile he keeps threatening to shoot at the United States.

There is absolutely no need to run for your bomb shelter yet.

The last missile he launched went up into the sky, headed toward Japan, and immediately fell into the Sea of Japan.

Understandably, the Japanese were still pretty upset and had their Kimonos in a wad over it, but I think Alaska remains pretty safe, for the moment. For that matter, Japan is probably safe, too.

Recently, old Kim has been threatening to shoot down airliners from any nation that interferes with his missile program.

Whew, we are safe again.

No nation wants to interfere with those North Koreans. They can drop as many missiles into the Sea of Japan as they want and as often as they want. In fact, the Free World hopes they will drop all of their missiles into the sea.

Kim has another problem, he is almost dead.

He has belatedly accepted this fact, mostly as a result of a couple of strokes, heart attacks, acid reflux, a few by-pass surgeries and a couple of outbreaks of acne on his face. Yes, North Korea’s “Dear Leader” is about to become history.

This would have absolutely no consequence for you readers except that he will be picking his successor from his three sons. I have done some reading on these boys and, believe me; they all make the “Dear Leader” look good.

This is bad.

Whichever son is selected will be very busy guarding against being knocked out of the game by either of his non-selected two brothers. There will be a lot of interviewing for food tasters and wine tasters up north. I know unemployment is high in the States but I would not recommend sending your resume.

In order to feed his starving people, the new leader will have to make sounds again about invading the south. This has in the past been a proven way to get food from the rest of the world. If you yell loud enough and threaten often enough we will buy you off. North Koreans have been fed in this manner for a very long time.

Just threaten to attack the South. Food is immediately on its way.

This song is sung so often that the South Koreans are beginning to think of it the way we think of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” Nice tune. Good melody. Isn’t going to happen.

The reason it isn’t going to happen takes me back to those 138,000 American service people standing around up there on the 38th parallel. You have to get past them to get to South Korea.

Now, I suppose you could get past those 138,000 but not without killing a few of them on your way south. That would not sit well with America. In fact, I feel pretty sure we would head over here immediately on a search for weapons of mass destruction and the Kim boys would find themselves staring up at an incoming missile that actually can get across the Sea of Japan. Only this one would be heading the opposite direction.

So the Kims and their “ilk” can rattle as many sabers, or garbanzo beans, as they want. They are going to have to rule the little patch of desolation known as North Korea until the North Koreans figure it out: no Kims and no nukes equals plenty of help from the rest of the world in building a great and united Korea. I dearly hope I live to see that day.

So as I leave Seoul and head for Shanghai, I give only a little worry to the possibility that The Great Leader might take a shot at the plane I am on. I am comforted by the knowledge that he hasn’t hit anything he has aimed at in years.